Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Did a personality tests and my result was INFP.

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INFP personality

INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

Being a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue – INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.

We Know What We Are, But Know Not What We May Be

At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.

INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.

INFPs’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either – as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to INFPs’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.

Listen to Many People, But Talk to Few

Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for INFPs’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.

If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into “hermit mode”, and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world. Continue reading


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Poem – The Abusers Lies

I wrote this over a year ago, but so many people relate to it and I am so thankful to be able to validate other people’s experiences/abuse and let them know, I understand.

Narcissists and psychopaths are always pathological liars. They will destroy you with their lies, rather than ever acknowledge the truth of who they really are and the harm they have caused.

Never under-estimate the damage and pain, these people can cause.


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Poem – The Abuser’s Lies.

.

Truth
Your weakness
Shamefully denies
No courage
For honesty
Within
Your walls
Of lies
.
Scared
To reveal
Your real
Inner self
Scared
To show
Your lack
Of self
Worth
.
Keep twisting
Reality
To yourself
And all
But you and I
Know
What really
Occurred
.
You know
The damage
And pain
Your abuse
Incurred
The hurt
And betrayal
My soul
Is scarred Continue reading


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My inner child is needy, but becoming a little too materialistic for my liking :)

A post to my inner child healing page, which others appreciated 🙂


This is a funny/interesting aspect of my inner child healing, I have realised.

My inner child is becoming a bit materialistic, wanting ‘stuff’ 🙂

As an adult, I am not a materialistic person, I don’t buy much and I don’t go along with society’s consumerism and materialistic needs, because I see so clearly how damaging and unhealthy all that is.

But, my inner child wants ‘stuff’. As children often do. My inner child wants girlie things and pretty things she never had.

I could go out every day and buy inner child stuff…

Need to do some healthy Inner child parenting here methinks!

This makes me wonder if that is where materialism and consumerism issues in society come from – the inner child ego state…


Already in love with Jeff Browns book – Soul Shaping: A Journey of Self-Creation

Wow!!!

I have always loved Jeff Brown’s work and enjoy and relate deeply to all his posts on social media. He has a level of insight and wisdom that is rare. He has a beautiful soul.

Kindled his first book, as I want to know more and I am blown away by how similar his insight is to mine, only he is able to word it far more eloquently than I am. and I deeply appreciate his capacity to write so well.

And he doesn’t have that ego that likes to ‘talk about his writing capacity either’. He just writes. I love that. Wish more would take note and retain that level of humility.


“To wake up, we must get off the wheel of outer ambition and set our inner alarm to truth.

If we don’t, we risk sleeping through the whole thing. But let’s not pretend that it will be a comfortable sleep.

The soul doesn’t like to be set aside, and it will manifest its frustration in the form of grumbles and stumbles, fitful sleeps and pleasureless unions, until we wake up to the truth of our lives.

Waking up is hard to do.”


“In a culture that prioritizes the ego above all else, we elevate adaptation at the expense of authenticity.”

Both by: Brown, Jeff (2010-06-09). Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation . North Atlantic Books. Kindle Edition.


I feel so excited and thankful when I connect in some way with souls who understand my soul.


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Forced myself to have some healthy self talk….no judgment.

The last few days have been pretty crap. For various reasons I have blogged about.

I know why this occurs, I know the reasons and I know I am allowed to feel those emotions, the anger and know my insight & understanding of people, society, attitudes being unhealthy and create fear and deep concern in me.

I know I have PTSD/Complex PTSD and these emotions are easily triggered and I have a growing self compassion for that.

But………this is the part I have to keep coming back to………they are not my concern…….not my responsibility to worry about, have anxiety about, or feel I have deal with.

So today, I am focussing on the good stuff……what my own work is about and my heart in that…..concentrate on my own inner child healing and my own needs – without feeling selfish.

Concentrate on my own wisdom seeking, my own needs to nourish my own soul.

My hyper vigilance, coupled with discernment, empathy, anxiety and fear….can overwhelm me.

So, I need to remember I am needing to be in a good space away from dark, unhealthy stuff as much as is possible.

Because I need this space.

And not beat myself up for the last few days being horrible, just accept it happens, for very profound reasons and just gently, with no self judgement….ease myself back to where I need to be.