I have learned trying to not think about the past stuff….is not possible.
PTSD does not allow you to ‘leave it in the past’. My mind wants to process it all continually. It never stops wanting to think about it all. It has quite rightly, felt like torture.
But, I am getting much better at allowing myself a time period for these past trauma emotions to be felt and then tell myself after say e.g an hour, to stop, and start thinking about something else.
The stuff that is meant to be ‘parked’ – is not staying parked – and I have stopped assuming I can avoid it completely. So, I am allowing myself – for a little while each day – to think about it, feel the emotions, play music about it, write about it, cry about it….
And then after a period of time allowing that….30 minutes, an hour, whatever feels needed….and then force myself to think about and do something else.
For me, this is easier to manage than trying to not think about it at all.
Something I am also doing, is increasing my self compassion…knowing through research it is normal for someone who has endured as much trauma/abuse as I have to feel the way I do….and whilst I know I have deep shame issues….I am re-assuring myself – the shame is not mine to feel or own. It is the shame of those that caused the trauma/abuse…..even though they will never own it.
I think allowing myself the inner child healing stuff, is helping.
It’s all progress, and I know that.