Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

When most people are incapable of self honesty, why would I trust people?


Honesty and self insight are not common.

I’ve seen so much of humanity acting badly….I see it frequently, and I am not oblivious to it like many.

I accept people are different, people have different levels of maturity, wisdom.

I accept all people are very flawed individuals, including me. But, having self insight and courage for this….is something I do have. I am very honest about my issues and yet so many people rarely stop to consider what are their issues…

I can see a lot in human behaviour.

I see people are deluded about self.

I see people lying to themselves, to avoid seeing what they don’t want to see.

I see people lying and self deceiving.

I don’t hate people for this, or even dislike them….but I won’t trust them, or choose to have them in my life.

The world of self published authors and their ego’s….

Human behaviour fascinates me…people are bizarre and mostly have nooooo self insight into this.

I have been warned about the self publishing world, and their ego’s and narcissism.

A classic example occurred today. A very immature woman who has self published a book…was very defensive about a post I linked about a celebrity using her daughter as a fashion victim and how it is not healthy, or good parenting. The celebrity herself, being a classic blindingly obvious narcissist.

A few comments went back and fore, I explained further what I believed, the ‘author’ got more defensive, projecting her issues, saying I would likely ‘unlike’ her, making assumptions- wrongly and then un-liked me. Then she proceeded to make childish comments on her author page (so professional, not), after blocking me of course…….with several other ‘authors’ joining in this petty childishness. How sad.

The ‘author’ also claimed that my quotes I write, are egotistic and for someone to slap her if she ever does that. Ummmm…writing a book you want everyone to like and be successful….is that not indeed egotistic??? It’s like a massive big long ‘quote’ of what you want others to read and think is great. Such hypocrisy and such projecting and noooo self insight into that. All narcissism. Continue reading

One indicator of maturity, is self control and not making assumptions…


I have learned this and I see virtually every person making assumptions, based on little evidence to support them.

It takes self insight, to know we do this, and a willingness to mature……..to want to become more mature.

This is just many ways that emotional maturity level, can be discerned.

It’s my wedding anniversary today :)


We always keep our wedding anniversary fairly low key.

We’ve stopped wasting money on cards, and buying presents just for the sake of it….because I believe our marriages shouldn’t be celebrated once a year.

I appreciate my husband doing little thoughtful things all year round….not some grandiose, sense of duty effort once a year.

My husband has surprised me thoughtful acts of love in doing things without being asked around the house constantly so I can do less to help deal with my complex PTSD. He has also bought me with gifts that shows he has thought about what I would find joyful, in buying me another rag roll and things for my fairy garden.

That means so much more to me than a fancy bunch of red roses, or a piece of jewellery on our wedding anniversary.

I too have worked on celebrating my husband in thoughtful ways and do things for him I know he appreciates on a regular basis.

We will be having our favourite Thai curry take away later and a bottle of wine.

Marriage is an all year round effort and celebration, not a once a year effort.

I am all for keepin’ it real and focussing on the bigger picture 🙂

So kind of people to share my poems…I always hope they will help someone.


This online newspaper, shared two of my poems today, and I am very thankful to them and all the online newspapers who share my blogs and posts.

It is lovely to have kind people supporting each other.



Grieving the loss of a perpetrator….complicated grief.

I know I am grieving. Grieving my childhood. Grieving decades of abuse. Grieving how it has so significantly affected my whole life so far. Grieving relationships, where they were abusers. My mother being the most painful.

I also know loss and grieving is not only when someone has died. My ‘mother’ died to me, as a ‘mother’ a while back. I will never have contact with her again, so in effect she is dead to me. Obviously, when she does die, I will probably grieve again.

As if this woman hasn’t caused enough trauma in my life already……

It’s like the abusive ‘gift’ that keeps on giving….


I never viewed my grieving as complicated grief.

Grief is a complicated process under normal circumstances. The more complicated (dysfunctional) the relationship, the more complicated the grief.


This ^ is from a Survivor/Therapist and I know survivors who become therapists, can often have far greater insight into the emotional needs of survivors of abuse.

Yes, Tony Abbott is a chronic and habitual liar…amongst many other dark traits.

I try to stay away from politics, but it is pretty impossible to, or for me to not be annoyed, concerned and worried about a country I live in, being led by a man, with clear personality disorder traits….the dark triad traits.

Tony Abbott is a pathological liar, a hypocrite, not genuine, lacks empathy, lacks remorse, lacks conscience, wants further class divides, does not care at all for the lower income earners in society and cares only for the middle and upper classes.

And this is all so blatantly obvious to me, and many with psychology understanding.

I am glad to see some of his own back benchers are not okay with what he is doing and I am thankful to see someone like Jason Clare call Abbott out on this.

I hope the rest of the country realise what Abbott has done……..manipulated everyone into voting, with so many pre-election lies….which he knew he would never keep to. So devious and yes many politicians do this to a certain extent…..but Abbott is beyond in his dark triad trait behaviours.

This kind of pathological lying and all his other evident issues, are those of a psychopathic mind/personality.

And yes, he may seem lovely to his family and his friends……….they always are when they need to be and have a reason to appear to be nice. When they gain something from being nice…..they will be. When they know they need their family on side, for their image….they will do what is necessary to ensure that. But, it is all self serving.

They are that manipulative and so many fall for this.

Of course, many who have a reason to continue voting for him, due to themselves being middle/upper class, or have financial gain/reason to vote for the politics of this government…..will continue…..ignoring all this other ‘stuff’…..selectively choosing what they see, believe.

If there is one thing I have learned in life………99% of people will believe what they want to believe for their own selfish needs….not what is needed for the greater good.