Labelling – even positively – myself causes me more harm long term.

I am starting to comprehend more and more – even just for myself – how labelling is self destructive.

When I label myself in negative ways – I am feeding my self harming habits….continuing the abuse started within my childhood.

But…..even when I label myself in positive ways – it either ends up causing shame…..or is not entirely honest.

When I label myself saying ‘I am a survivor…not a victim’……this implies to me I ‘have’ to be strong. Society shames victims of abuse for not being strong, not getting over it, stop having ‘victim mentality’ etc…

So this subconscious voice telling me that I ‘must’ be a ‘strong survivor’ – causes issues when I am not strong.

Over the last 2 years – I have been far from what others would define as strong. Some may even label it ‘victim mentality’ – which is highly un-empathic, and very shaming. Considering all I have been through – it would be very wrong to label me in these negative ways, but people have. So, when I have felt suicidal, when I have barely been making it through the day….knowing this is considered ‘weak’ – has shamed me further.

This is why I do not like the term ’empowered’. Because when I am really struggling, I feel far from ’empowered’ and again – this creates shame.

I’ve also read, this leads to more suicides, because people can’t handle the shame of not being ‘strong enough’ feeling like they are ‘acting like a victim’ and not acting ’empowered’.

This makes perfect sense to me and being a ‘bigger picture’ person and seeing how this is affecting others, deeply concerns me.

I have labelled myself an empath….and I do have the capacity for being empathic – even for highly abusive people. But. I’m not empathic all the time. When I’m not empathic about something, I beat myself up and feel like I have failed. When in all reality, I don’t need to be empathic all the time. It’s exhausting.

Thank you for your wisdom Cate Blanchett – Tertiary Education should be free.

http://junkee.com/cate-blanchett-made-it-super-uncomfortable-for-tony-abbott-at-gough-whitlams-memorial-service/44485

Cate Blanchett was invited to speak at Gough Whitlam’s memorial service at Sydney Town Hall earlier today. If the thinking was that she’d be a harmless, crowd-pleasing celebrity guest, old m8 Cate didn’t get the memo; she came out swinging but good.

Right off the bat, she highlighted free education and healthcare as two of the things she wouldn’t have succeeded without, which most of the crowd loved and made for some pretty fantastic shots of various government ministers looking deeply unimpressed.

“When I heard that Gough Whitlam had died, I was filled with an inordinate sadness, a great sorrow.

“The loss I felt came down to something very deep and very simple: I am the beneficiary of free tertiary education.

“When I went to university, I could explore different courses and engage with the student union in extra-curricular activities. It was through that that I discovered acting.

“I am the beneficiary of good, free healthcare that meant that the little I earned after tax and rent could go towards seeing shows, bands, and living inside my generation’s expression.

“I am the product of an Australia that engages with the globe, and engages honestly with its history and its Indigenous peoples.

“I am a small part of Australia’s coming of age, and so many of those initiatives were enacted when I was three.

Tony Abbott’s whole row just kind of sat awkwardly during that bit while everyone else clapped. It was great.

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I doubt Sir Tony listened, or could even appreciate the wisdom Cate was speaking.

Those who are so needy for there to be class division, like too many middle class people ‘need’ – won’t care.

There are counties in Europe who have free tertiary education – and their economies are flourishing. Far more wise in their wisdom and social/emotionalintelligence/political development.