Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

My son is being bullied in school….at times like this, I desperately wish I had a wise mother for advice.

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My son was hit several times by a bully in school this week, for defending a child being bullied. He did everything right and handled himself well.

Now it has been decided the boy will be suspended for 4 days next week. Due to this, the boy and his friends, have bullied my son relentlessly today, and threatened to ‘bash him up again’. My son and his friend who witnessed this again, reported it.

My son is really down, very quiet and there has been a few tears. He wanted a hug when I offered (at 12 he is ‘too old’ for hugs normally) and I know that means he is upset. He’s concerned this will continue on now.

Interestingly, all the bullies in the school have come from the junior school I pulled by son out of in grade 5 due to bullying and he was immediately happier and did so well at the second junior school, with no issues. The former one has a terrible reputation now of bullying, with quite a few people I know, pulling their children from there.

So these bullies in that junior school are now all bullying kids in the first year in high school.

I want to go there on Monday and calmly state I want this nipped in the bud, as I do not want my son subjected to ongoing threats and bullying – and remind the school they have a very strict behaviour management/bullying policy and I expect that to be adhered to.

But, my son doesn’t want me to go and see them, he thinks it would make it worse. He’s also angry at these boys, and I know to let him have his rightful emotions about this, I don’t believe in suppressing needed emotions. Just vent appropriately.  He has a right to be angry at being bullied, at being threatened, after already being punched 3 times.

What do I do, what do I do???…..Let him try to work this out, or go to the school anyway? My anxiety levels are really up right now. This will bother me now until I know either the bullying has stopped, or I have to go and see them. I maintain my composure in front on my children, but seeing them hurt, in tears, upset – pulls my heart apart inside me.

At times like this, I find being a motherless mother hard. I want someone wise I can turn to and ask advice. And I have no-one. My husband is pretty hopeless at dealing with anything ’emotionally’ related. Other people’s emotions are not ‘his thing’.

I can hear my son having fun in the pool right now, but I know him so well..he will worry about this…he’s emotional, as empathic people often are. And he is an empathic boy.

I realise this is the ‘teaching him more resilience’ part – and I’m not even sure I know how to do that for myself, let alone for him.

I hate bullying/abuse.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “My son is being bullied in school….at times like this, I desperately wish I had a wise mother for advice.

  1. It usually needs an authority figure to stop it. Even then it can come back and start again, bullies are parasites. Keep a close eye on him, remind him how mighty the combination of the truth and a pen can really be – keep a diary or start a blog because with best intentions he cant be monitored all the time – a pen can record it though 🙂

  2. such a hard situation 😦 wish I could offer some wise advice- but I really don’t know what I’d do. I think i’d probably want to speak to school anyway just to feel like I was doing something… but no easy answers 😦 x