Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Daily Archives: November 8, 2014


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I hated high school.

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Feeling pretty down at the moment.

I think it’s combination of things, including my husband being on nights – which means he’s tired, grumpy…worrying about my son being bullied…stuff I am still (always) processing….tired…and I’ve now realised I don’t have a counselling appointment this coming week. Great.

*sigh.

I’m starting to realise more, how much my children and my husband trigger stuff. Of course not intentionally, but never-the-less…they do.

My older son, is emotional, sensitive like I am and he has a beautiful heart. His age – 12 – is an age that for me – was a really bad time. I was bullied in the first year in high school, the way my son is right now.

When I started high school at 11, I was little (in size, height), scared, had never been around tough kids from rough areas and these big, tough, scary kids terrified me. Stuff at home was bad, I was the mother to my siblings, and where junior school had been a fairly safe place…now high school wasn’t.  I was bullied for my horrible shoes my mother made me wear, teased, and I cried a lot, sometimes in school – which made the bully kids laugh at me. Continue reading →


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A post about the cost of holding onto wanting any remorse, them to admit, or an apology from abusers.

It takes time to come to this point. And that’s okay. I just want everyone to come to this point and not stay wanting this their entire lives and I know this happens, and that breaks my heart ❤

“If you hold onto wanting an apology, remorse, or the abuser admitting their abuse – you could be waiting your entire life and it will most likely never occur.

To hold on to wanting them to admit it, feel remorse, feel guilt and apologise, in most cases becomes an act of self harm…because most abusers never ‘own’ what they have done. Many of them lack any capacity or willingness to have empathy, remorse, or a conscience.

None of my abusers, will ever own what they did, or have remorse. They only care about themselves.

To hold onto wanting anything from abusers, keeps us tied and chained to them – emotionally, psychologically and mentally. It keeps survivors angry and bitter all their lives….and this breaks my heart 😥
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When I realised this, I cut those chains that kept me bound to them and moved further along my healing journey.”

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~ Lilly Hope Lucario ❤


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Convicted sex offender/paedophile legally allowed to keep surrogate baby.

http://www.9news.com.au/national/2014/11/07/22/07/wa-couple-cleared-to-keep-abandoned-baby-gammy-s-twin-sister-after-investigation.

Un-fucking-believable.

Well, actually it is believable and a true indication of our sick and unhealthy society – that allows our most vulnerable citizens – children – to be so unsafe.

This is paedophile/sex offender rights – being more important the safety, wellbeing and rights of children.

This is perpetrator protecting/enabling – clearly on display.

This is neglect, abuse and shows how fucked up our society, legal systems are.

This ‘man’ and his wife, abandoned the twin due to downs syndrome. But, at least she is safer.

Paedophiles and repeat sex offenders cannot be rehabilitated – there is more evidence of that now, than any that says they can.

This little girl – legally allowed to remain in the care of a known, convicted sex offender/paedophile – who committed a ‘string of sexual offences (they are just the ones he was caught for) – will be unsafe every day of her life now, until she leaves home.

I hate this fucked up society in which I have to reside.


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Narcissistic Abuse – The Stages from A Survivor

Excellent advice from someone I have learned so much from about narcissistic abuse and how to deal with it.
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After Narcissistic Abuse

If you’re on this site you are most likely trying to understand Narcissist Personality Disorder, grieving and or healing from a relationship with a narcissist.  There are several grieving stages after a narc relationship.  I’ve been utilizing all sources during my grieving period such as support web sites, licensed therapist, books on Narcissist Personality Disorder and support systems.  I was so beat down and abused that I literally hit “rock” bottom.  I don’t want to disclose the cycles of abuse or ruminate over the horrific events because it’s a never ending diorama!  The first thing I’d like to disclose is that narcs come from both genders.  I used male gender so the verbiage flowed easier.    What I’d like to do is let everybody know how I managed to move on and get on with my life.  Healing from a narc was absolutely daunting, confusing and one of the hardest endeavors I’ve been through.

Stage One:  Denial………… For example:…

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Types Of Invalidation

Invalidation, is a massive issue for many of us who have endured abuse, child abuse and trauma.
This is important for society to be aware of.
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Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author

Good afternoon, Dear Readers!

If you have been in an abusive relationship of any type- whether the relationship was emotionally, physically, sexually or narcissistic abusive- then you have experienced invalidation.  Invalidation is when your feelings are mocked, judged or rejected.  It is done  to make you feel as if you are wrong, weird, abnormal or extremely flawed.  It is done in order to gain control.  When invalidation is done in childhood, the child grows up not trusting her feelings, & lacking in self confidence.

There are many ways to invalidate someone.  Some examples are:

  • Telling someone not to feel the way they do.
  • Calling someone harsh names like oversensitive, drama queen, worry wort, crybaby, etc.
  • Mocking someone for feeling a certain way.
  • Leading one to believe there is something wrong with them for feeling as they do.
  • Telling someone to look differently (example: “Stop looking so sad”).
  • Minimizing another’s feelings.
  • Isolating another, such as saying “No one…

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