Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Posts to my page on my avoidance of being ‘girlie’…


Being feminine/girlie – and the association to abuse…

I never allowed myself to like/be girlie, dress girlie, throughout my adult life, because I associated that with abuse.

Having been sexually abused as a child, to be ‘girlie’ signalled danger. So I have often dressed in strong colours and non girlie type clothing and in the past sexy, but still strong clothing.

But steered completely away from girlie/feminine clothing.

It wasn’t ‘safe’ to be girlie, vulnerable, and I understand that now.

Now I am embracing my girlie side and allowing myself to feel safe within this side of me now.

I am increasingly wearing girlie/feminine clothes and enjoy girlie, feminine things.

If you relate, I understand and I encourage you to embrace your feminine side, if you want to.

Lilly ❤

This post was to my inner child healing page..
I think I am have always suppressed and ignored my inner child…because to acknowledge her, means acknowledging my vulnerable, fragile, girlie, part of me…

And that signals danger to me….because as a child…I was abused, in all ways.

So, to protect myself, I needed to avoid that part of me that was unsafe and easily hurt and abused.

I am now starting to acknowledge and validate that inner part of me, that is vulnerable, is scared, is fragile…that inner girl.

I think I am ashamed of her still, angry with her – for getting hurt so much and so easily.

Even though that hurt and abuse was never her fault. But, she was made to feel it was.

It’s is a journey that I am still getting my head around.

Lilly ❤

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “Posts to my page on my avoidance of being ‘girlie’…

  1. I really can’t do girly. I will wear light blue and things. But girly pink is out.

    I feel uncomfortable in a dress after what I have been through.

    I admire you.
    Enviado a través de BlackBerry de movistar

  2. Thats interesting …never thought about that …..but one of the abusers always wanted me to wear dresses….easy access…..gives me the creaps thinking about it UGH!!!