*** Trigger Warning.
True Love Hurts ~ Lilly Hope Lucario
Love is pain
Messages seared
Into her core
If it doesn’t hurt
It’s not love
.
This pain
I need
I deserve
Their voices
Replay
.
Painful love
So young
‘It’s how I love you’
Any love craved
Than none
,
Your love
Your pain
I know I need
Voices all echo
Within
.
Hurt me
But please please
Don’t leave me
Don’t abandon me
Dominating fear
.
I will do anything
All your dark desires
Die for you
Your pain I will take
Onto, into me
I love you forever
But, please stay
.
Please
Don’t be too rough
Not too much
Not too long
Hit me
Hurt me
But, hold me after
.
Reassure me later
Then it’s okay
You didn’t leave
You stayed
.
It’s love
I know
.
You’re here
Still.
True love
.
And true love
Always
Hurts.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
January 21, 2015 at 1:12 pm
Reblogged this on Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD and commented:
As I am only recently coming to terms with my re-enactment and self harming issues…..caused by so much severe abuse in the first 20 years of my life…
it is pretty clear that when I write poems like this….which came from an emotional flashback of feeling the way I did in my teens…
That the damage caused to me, was very deep.
I do equate sexually intimate relationships with this past abuse.
My body learned to respond the way it’s meant to….but with abuse, as happens in many sexually abused children/teenagers.
It is hard enough to confront and acknowledge this.
But, I have to acknowledge it and accept it as part of who I am, to be able to start to deal with it.
Although how to deal with it…..within my current situation….seems like it will be impossible.
And that then creates fear and hopelessness.
*sigh.
The affects of child sexual abuse……are horrific and only those who have endure this understand.
It is like the abuse is continually repeating and you are stuck and can’t get out it, other than to not be in a relationship at all, which I totally understand why people make that choice.
Child sexual abuse, and not receiving any support or love to help deal with……is horrific.
The affects can last a lifetime and I see that clearly too.