Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

We do need to experience negative emotions, but society is all about ‘happiness is everything’.

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Between the books, seminars and blogs, the study of how to make a happy life is practically its own genre. But does all of this happiness-chasing actually work?

The sense that one should always feel good, psychologist Todd Kardashan told The Huffington Post, is toxic. Some research suggests that Americans are actually getting less happy as the years go by. And according to Kardashan, it’s our relentless pursuit of happiness that may be steering us in the wrong direction.

But given the culture of positivity around happiness research and writing, it’s easy to forget that “bad” feelings are healthy and indeed essential to taking part in the full emotional spectrum of the human experience. “The science is very clear that when we try to conceal the distress we feel, we are less productive and less effective, and we end up feeling emotionally worse,” Kardashan said.


And in his new book, The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self — Not Just Your ‘Good’ Self — Drives Success And Fulfillment, co-authored by Robert Biswas-Diener, Kardashan advocates feeling bad.

He believes that this single-minded pursuit of happiness is part and parcel with a strong tendency to seek comfort and avoid discomfort of any kind and that, he argues in his book, is making us psychologically weak.

I agree. Fully.

Glad my own insight, is validated by others, with wisdom.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

One thought on “We do need to experience negative emotions, but society is all about ‘happiness is everything’.

  1. I have stopped using the words positive or negative, dark or light to describe my emotional life. I want to experience all of my emotional world after years of trying to give the illusion I was living a happy life. I find so much energy in my murderous rage, joy, bliss, sadness and grief. I can finally say I feel so fully human, fully alive for the first time in my life and it is great!