Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


I agree with this TED Talk – I just don’t have it in me to do it. But really thankful this guy does.

“We spend so much time listening to the things people are saying that we rarely pay attention to the things they don’t,” says poet and teacher Clint Smith.

A short, powerful piece from the heart, about finding the courage to speak up against ignorance and injustice.


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Back to no sleep……far too much swimming around in my mind…

It’s 1.30am, and I already know I won’t sleep all night. When I am having ‘all nighters’ I know things are bad.  feel like I could write a 100 poem’s with the thoughts running around my mind. I’ve written quite a few that I haven’t published as they are so graphic about abuse I have endured, so they stay where only I can see them.

I am overwhelmed currently and none of it is staying fucking parked.

Between…

Knowing my mother was complicit in the abuse I endured…

All the self harming issues I know I have, due to so much abuse…

All the abuse I have tolerated in the past, because I was raised to be abused, groomed my entire childhood for abuse, and more scared of being abandoned, than my norm of being abused…

How I have equated abuse with love/sexual intimacy…

And the latest…

Knowing I was raped (all forms of penetration are rape) in my childhood countless times, over a period of years, by a paedophile and I had minimized this abuse to cope, because no-one showed me the needed and normal emotions/reactions when I told my mother and step father… Continue reading