I think we’ve lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we’re feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.
Heroics is often about putting our life on the line.
Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.
In today’s world, that’s pretty extraordinary.
Setting boundaries and holding people accountable is a lot more work than shaming and blaming. But it’s also much more effective.
Shaming and blaming without accountability is toxic to couples, families, organizations, and communities.
First, when we shame and blame, it moves the focus from the original behavior in question to our own behaviour.
It’s hard for us to understand that we can be compassionate and accepting while we hold people accountable for their behaviours.
We can, and, in fact, it’s the best way to do it.
~ Brene Brown, – The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are