Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Brene Brown has it absolutely right about shame and with society’s obsession with having to be ‘strong’.

I saw courage in my daughter, Ellen, when she called me from a slumber party at 10: 30 p.m. and said, “Mom, can you come get me?” When I picked her up, she got in the car and said, “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t brave enough. I got homesick. It was so hard. Everyone was asleep, and I had to walk to Libby’s mom’s bedroom and wake her up.”

I pulled into our driveway, got out of the car, and walked around to the backseat where Ellen was sitting. I scooted her over and sat next to her. I said, “Ellen, I think asking for what you need is one of the bravest things that you’ll ever do. I suffered through a couple of really miserable sleepovers and slumber parties because I was too afraid to ask to go home. I’m proud of you.”

The next morning during breakfast, Ellen said, “I thought about what you said. Can I be brave again and ask for something else?” I smiled. “I have another slumber party next weekend. Would you be willing to pick me up at bedtime? I’m just not ready.”

That’s courage. The kind we could all use more of.

Brown, Brene  – The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.


Courage….is not about ‘proving how strong you are’ – that’s not courage….courage is being able to be vulnerable and not hide that.

To ask for help, not be ‘told’ you need help.

I see all these people who think they have courage – they stand up in front of others and tell their ‘stories’ – after they have ‘healed’ and claim that’s courage….

To me that is not courage…..courage is the capacity to share your story during it all, all the good, bad and ugly. The times you are not ‘strong’, the times you feel suicidal, the times you cannot cope, the wrong you have done and own it….during it all….as that takes vulnerability to admit and share.

Courage is capacity to share when feeling shame…..and why.

Courage requires vulnerability to be very honest about self.

Courage is to say what we are not good at….not just puff up the ego about what we are ‘good’ at.

Courage is to admit we are all a work in progress, we don’t ‘know it all’, we all need to keep learning.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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