Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Someone told me they wished I was their daughter…..cue tears!

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A lovely lady who has been following my page a long time, who I have come to know well, via communication on my Lilly FB page, said the other day, she wishes I was her daughter. And she said it sincerely and commenting on how much I have grown through my journey since I began my complex PTSD page nearly 2 years ago.

To hear those words, is emotional for me. Still.

They are the words I have craved and the understanding I have needed from a mother, all my life and never received.

I still can’t deal with all my emotions about my mother, since realising she was complicit in the abuse I endured as a child. I don’t hate her, but it is easier for me to just not think about her. And when I do, just think of her as the sick, mentally ill, bitter woman she is and know that is her own doing and I am thankful I am not like her and I am not responsible for her.

As I have blogged about many times, I have craved the family I never had. I’ve wanted people to say to me they ‘see me as a daughter’ and be like a mother to me. Adopt me, as an adult. I’ve actually seen adult adoptions some people are doing, to give adult survivors of child abuse, a family. That was emotive to see too and the look of such deep happiness on the faces of the adoptees was wonderful!

I know I will never have parents, siblings etc. I have to accept it, because the need to keep searching, hurts me more.

But, when someone says in a genuine way – they wish I was their daughter, the emotions I feel are intense and there were tears.

I realise I will never have that hole in my soul filled and I will just learn to deal with it increasing better over time.

Just like everything else I have endured.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “Someone told me they wished I was their daughter…..cue tears!

  1. Beautiful! Having walked away from my own biological family, I understand how you feel . . . Such kind words for her to say with meaning :’) I love it! ((Hugs)) Willow~

  2. You have a beautiful heart and soul lilly.

    • Thank you ❤

      I am trying to be a good person and work through all my own issues, as well as wanting the levels of abuse and suffering in this world to reduce and not be ignored.

      I am learning and growing as I go. It is a lifelong process.

      • Oh yes I know how hard this is. I am struggling in every way at the moment and have nowhere to turn. It sux. I hate this feeling. I Dint know Wether to get meds or not. I’m just losing it. And media is making it worse for me.