Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Grieving the loss of a perpetrator….complicated grief.

I know I am grieving. Grieving my childhood. Grieving decades of abuse. Grieving how it has so significantly affected my whole life so far. Grieving relationships, where they were abusers. My mother being the most painful.

I also know loss and grieving is not only when someone has died. My ‘mother’ died to me, as a ‘mother’ a while back. I will never have contact with her again, so in effect she is dead to me. Obviously, when she does die, I will probably grieve again.

As if this woman hasn’t caused enough trauma in my life already……

It’s like the abusive ‘gift’ that keeps on giving….


I never viewed my grieving as complicated grief.

Grief is a complicated process under normal circumstances. The more complicated (dysfunctional) the relationship, the more complicated the grief.


This ^ is from a Survivor/Therapist and I know survivors who become therapists, can often have far greater insight into the emotional needs of survivors of abuse.

Yes, Tony Abbott is a chronic and habitual liar…amongst many other dark traits.

I try to stay away from politics, but it is pretty impossible to, or for me to not be annoyed, concerned and worried about a country I live in, being led by a man, with clear personality disorder traits….the dark triad traits.

Tony Abbott is a pathological liar, a hypocrite, not genuine, lacks empathy, lacks remorse, lacks conscience, wants further class divides, does not care at all for the lower income earners in society and cares only for the middle and upper classes.

And this is all so blatantly obvious to me, and many with psychology understanding.

I am glad to see some of his own back benchers are not okay with what he is doing and I am thankful to see someone like Jason Clare call Abbott out on this.

I hope the rest of the country realise what Abbott has done……..manipulated everyone into voting, with so many pre-election lies….which he knew he would never keep to. So devious and yes many politicians do this to a certain extent…..but Abbott is beyond in his dark triad trait behaviours.

This kind of pathological lying and all his other evident issues, are those of a psychopathic mind/personality.

And yes, he may seem lovely to his family and his friends……….they always are when they need to be and have a reason to appear to be nice. When they gain something from being nice…..they will be. When they know they need their family on side, for their image….they will do what is necessary to ensure that. But, it is all self serving.

They are that manipulative and so many fall for this.

Of course, many who have a reason to continue voting for him, due to themselves being middle/upper class, or have financial gain/reason to vote for the politics of this government…..will continue…..ignoring all this other ‘stuff’…..selectively choosing what they see, believe.

If there is one thing I have learned in life………99% of people will believe what they want to believe for their own selfish needs….not what is needed for the greater good.

Sometimes…”yes, or no” is enough….and the capacity to laugh at self :)

My husband knows me well in some respects…..earlier today he laughed as I was talking away…I asked why he was laughing and he replied..

“There is never just a yes or no answer with you, it always turns into this deep reflection or philosophical thought process about why either you or other people think a certain way and a 45 minute conversation about that. Sometimes yes, or no is..enough!!!”

He is SO right LOL!

Good I can laugh at myself and see the funny side of others laughing at me too!

Can’t be serious about self all the time and I’ve always been able to laugh at myself.



Having your baby son threatened with death, by a sadistic psychopath, is trauma.

I didn’t realise until recently, the depth of trauma that comes from having my baby son threatened (threat of death), by a sadistic psychopath.

My son was about 1 years old. I had previously been advised by police, to move. They knew what the psychopath was capable of. It was them that described him as a sadistic psychopath. The police hate him.

I remember telling my husband what had happened, when I saw the psychopath and he smiled his evil smile and indicated to my son who was in a pram, and put his thumb across his throat, to indicate slicing his throat.

You would have to know or have dealt with this psychopath, to know he was sick enough to kill and he had killed before and ‘got away with it’.

Back then, when this threat occurred, I was on autopilot of dealing with decades of trauma and sick individuals. It was my norm.

Now, I realise just how much subconscious fear that instilled in me. Continue reading