I am not good at explaining my needs to other people. I hate conflict and will do anything during verbal interactions/conversations with people, to avoid conflict.
Now I am having to voice my needs and I’m aware, my doctor/counsellor is not a mind reader, so I ‘have’ to start explaining what I need. And what I am not okay with.
So I have been voicing this over the last month, and was concerned my voice would not be heard. That if I say anything different to what she believes, I will just automatically be seen as wrong. Part of this is because I do feel intimidated by her, as she is someone who is considered by many to be highly professional, very experienced and is often abroad working, and in demand for speaking events etc. I did say, I feel intimidated by her.
And another part is because I do see people with the ‘church people’ agenda, of just showing compassion to abusers, not being allowed to be angry with them, and just show some cheap grace and put the onus on the victims to get over it, forgive and let them carry on being abusers.
To be very fair – she listened and she did speak about some of the things I have not heard. How what abusive people do, is horrific, is evil and is not in any way my fault and yes they do know what they are doing is wrong. Continue reading