Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


The whole church issue, has been really bothering me.

I did think about maybe going to church again. But, it has been really bothering me and I just can’t do it. Knowing how badly churches deal with abusers and sex offenders and abuse that occurs, it is too great a risk and one I am not willing to take.

I will take my family to the Christmas carol service and a Christmas Day service, but as for being involved regularly, allowing my children to church youth groups…..no.

I know this will be deemed to be ‘my’ issues and I guess it would be, if I hadn’t already endured abuse & corruption from a church. If I hadn’t already done my research and found out how much child abuse is tolerated, encouraged and how badly so many churches deal with abuse. If I hadn’t already seen the outcomes of the Royal Commission – which any wise person will realise is a fraction of what really has gone on, and continues to go on, as most victims don’t come forward.

Is this really ‘my’ issues? It seems to me, to be church people issues. Church and denomination hierarchy issues.

But hey, always easier to blame the victims….

I know the damage child sexual abuse causes….I cannot take that risk, in places where I know perpetrators are protected, their abuse ignored if there isn’t 100% proof and knowing paedophiles are welcomed into many churches.

It’s just too great a risk to deal with.

My children do need to go to school and my eldest does go to school holiday camp….but these are not places where known paedophiles are welcomed, the way they are in churches. And I trust that schools and a supervised camp would deal with child abuse issues and potential dodgy people…far better than church people. I already know all the excuses used by church people.

Most abuse committed in churches has only come to light due to the Royal Commission. It would still be hidden, lied about, denied etc to this day.

Yeah sure, the churches are aware of this ‘now’, so are ‘made’ to step it up with regard to child safety and child protection…..but this is the mentality of church people…..they had to be FORCED to be honest and deal with it better. And too many are still failing to deal with abuse appropriately……I know……I have endured it. Continue reading

This is people ‘leading’ the country. Bizarre…..I just shake my head in disbelief….often.

What does it say about humanity, when ‘this’ is leading the country?


I saw the dark triad traits that are so blatantly obvious to me, well before the pre-election lies were being told.

It just goes to show how easily manipulated people are.

How people will believe whatever they want…….to serve themselves.

And even now……there will be so many right wingers, all steadfastly holding onto believing Abbott is a healthy man, doing good.

*shakes head in disbelief.

I have a lot of my own stuff to work on, but I have insight into that and the courage to accept it, own it, deal with it.

Discernment into detecting dark triad traits, is a skill of mine.

It has happened and been proven correct, too many times over.

Apparently, I am supposed to ignore this and ‘look for the good’ in people like Abbott.

Is that wise?

Tony Abbott is haunted by his past self

Posted Tue at 4:32pmTue 2 Dec 2014, 4:32pm

Tony Abbott’s pursuit of Julia Gillard over broken promises set the benchmark for his own rule, applying a strait-jacket to each and every commitment he was to make, write Peter Lewis and Jackie Woods.

In an effort to haul his Government into dry-dock to clear the barnacles, Prime Minister Tony Abbott has exposed some fundamental structural flaws with his ship of state.

While the pretence of this week’s marathon press conference was to draw a line through a ‘ragged’ week, the reality is it has been a ragged year and a bit since the federal election.

The reason for these problems, highlighted in this week’s Essential Report, comes down to three key elements: the Coalition’s fundamentally negative election agenda, its incessant attack on Labor’s lies, and the construction of its first federal budget.

And the problem for the Prime Minister is that these are not discrete issues to be managed – they are flaws that feed into each other. Worse still, each of the flaws were incubated in opposition and have come back to haunt the government in power.

First, the Government’s agenda. Despite the Prime Minister being a self-styled conviction politician, voters don’t really seem to be sure what the conviction is. Tony Abbott rates poorly on vision, trust and being in touch with ordinary people.

Behind this confusion is the problem that Tony Abbott’s vision has been a negative one – articulated in opposition as stopping the boats, cutting the carbon and mining taxes, and reining in the debt.

There is no doubting the Coalition was successful in elevating these issues into vote-changers. It is also true that on boats and taxes at least, the government has delivered on those promises.

But in all three instances, the Coalition in opposition created problems that didn’t really have a significant impact on the lives of voters or the future of the nation: stopping asylum seekers did not get cars off the road, cutting the carbon tax has not significantly driven prices down, the mining tax was not collecting money anyway.

All three issues were symbolic issues – successfully transformed into matters of national import by the Opposition, but issues that have no bearing on the day-to-day lives of voters.

The second flaw was the way Tony Abbott ran on trust and the truth, a tried tactic in opposition, but one that this opposition leader evolved into political art.

Julia Gillard conceded she had changed her position on carbon pricing in the following terms: “Yes, I did say that and circumstances have changed.”

Abbott and his media cheer squad were unrelenting in response.

The PM was “Ju-liar” and the issue of dealing with the crisis of global warming was degraded into an issue of trust in Government.

But in setting these ground rules, the PM was also establishing the benchmark for his own rule, applying a strait-jacket to each and every commitment he was to make.

Continue reading

Feel really down, I know why and I can’t even bring myself to write about it.

Fed up. Tired. Miserable. Depressed.

Fed up of the same old issues coming up. Sick of writing about it.

Doesn’t help that I was woken up at 2am by my husband coming home from work, and have been awake since. I’m not annoyed about it, he’s a shift worker. But, I’m tired, having anxiety about things, mood sinking lower and lower.

Need to get off this laptop and go and try and do something nice.

If….I can find the energy.

Or maybe watch a funny movie and cuddle my rag dolls.

Why aren’t more Christians, talking openly about Bill Cosby?


From Relevant Magazine.

At the time of writing, there are more than 20 women who have named themselves and forwarded allegations of sexual abuse and sexual assault against comedian Bill Cosby.

Please, let that sink in. Twenty women. [Update: 21. Another woman came forward just this morning.]

I haven’t heard much from the Christian community on Cosby. Or others, like R. Kelly or Woody Allen, all who have seen a resurgence of allegations in the past year.

R. Kelly’s record still did well, and the Internet’s favorite British crush, Benedict Cumberbatch, read the “sexy” lyrics. Woody Allen still went ahead with a Broadway production and a movie (and will, in all likelihood, continue to churn out another film next year and the next), despite Dylan Farrow’s devastating account of allegations of sexual abuse.

The accusations against Cosby surprised us though: We think of Dr. Huxtable lecturing Theo about money and responsibility, about taking Rudy and her friends out for a fancy meal (and all Kenny can talk about is croutons). We think of Cliff and Claire dancing around their living room, and we think how we wished we had parents like that. Of course, the evidence to the contrary was out there: there was the Spanish fly routine from 1969, the same year Joan Tarshis was allegedly assaulted. There were the rape jokes in the 1977 film A Piece of Action. Social media has led to these bits resurfacing.

The Bible does not hide these sins from us, and we need to deal with them.

But one of the only notable references to Bill Cosby in the Christian community has been from Freed-Hardeman University, when Bill Cosby’s appearance at their annual benefit dinner was cancelled. Before this statement, the university stood by their “commitment” to Cosby for the dinner. In both statements, FHU President Joe Wiley invoked the call to prayer for “healing and peace,” and the recognition that “we know that names we have seen in the media represent real people who will be affected long after FHU’s dinner has passed.”

While FHU’s reversal should be applauded, their statement stands out as one of lone references to Bill Cosby in Christian circles. The silence suggests that it is easier to believe that Cosby deserves our benefit of the doubt over the 20 (and counting) victims.

This isn’t new for us. We only need to turn to the Bible for horrifying examples of women being abused and then ignored, or even silenced, while their abusers go forward.

Continue reading