Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The whole church issue, has been really bothering me.


I did think about maybe going to church again. But, it has been really bothering me and I just can’t do it. Knowing how badly churches deal with abusers and sex offenders and abuse that occurs, it is too great a risk and one I am not willing to take.

I will take my family to the Christmas carol service and a Christmas Day service, but as for being involved regularly, allowing my children to church youth groups…..no.

I know this will be deemed to be ‘my’ issues and I guess it would be, if I hadn’t already endured abuse & corruption from a church. If I hadn’t already done my research and found out how much child abuse is tolerated, encouraged and how badly so many churches deal with abuse. If I hadn’t already seen the outcomes of the Royal Commission – which any wise person will realise is a fraction of what really has gone on, and continues to go on, as most victims don’t come forward.

Is this really ‘my’ issues? It seems to me, to be church people issues. Church and denomination hierarchy issues.

But hey, always easier to blame the victims….

I know the damage child sexual abuse causes….I cannot take that risk, in places where I know perpetrators are protected, their abuse ignored if there isn’t 100% proof and knowing paedophiles are welcomed into many churches.

It’s just too great a risk to deal with.

My children do need to go to school and my eldest does go to school holiday camp….but these are not places where known paedophiles are welcomed, the way they are in churches. And I trust that schools and a supervised camp would deal with child abuse issues and potential dodgy people…far better than church people. I already know all the excuses used by church people.

Most abuse committed in churches has only come to light due to the Royal Commission. It would still be hidden, lied about, denied etc to this day.

Yeah sure, the churches are aware of this ‘now’, so are ‘made’ to step it up with regard to child safety and child protection…..but this is the mentality of church people…..they had to be FORCED to be honest and deal with it better. And too many are still failing to deal with abuse appropriately……I know……I have endured it.

I have major anxiety just typing this.

I cannot take this risk and something happen to my children.

I truly feel like I would be letting my children down and failing to protect them, in environments I know are not safe, around people I know can be very secretive, very much ignoring abuse, refusing to focus on the ‘bad’ side of people and always choosing to focus on the good………while abuse occurs right under their noses. And then the victim is made to deal with it in a highly re-traumatising way.

I can’t be a mother, who is willing to risk her children..

to supposedly trust people I already

know from own experience,

from the Royal Commission, from research..

are not people to be trusted.

Not when it’s about abuse.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “The whole church issue, has been really bothering me.

  1. Honey, do what you think is best and in your own time.
    Love and hugs. xx

  2. Hi- I feel that we have a perfectly good inner conscience that will enable us to be ‘good’ people when we listen to it, which does not necessarily mean that you must attend an institiution to fulfil your ‘goodness’. Unfortunately the original religious principles may be sound, but they have been interpreted for very long time through human beings with their own agenda, so I feel are sometimes taken too literally. Any institution that insists that you remain in an abusive situation is surely to be challenged? I’m sure you will find your path, good luck.

    • Yes, I understand what you are saying.

      My concerns are always with the way church people misinterpret Bible verses, or choose ones that give them the easy or self interested way to deal with situations like abuse, concerns about abusive people.

      As with anywhere in society there is little wisdom and a lot of self serving and churches are no different.

      How society deals with abusers and the abused, is often very wrong, and churches seem to enable this further.

      It causes great concern to me, for the safety of my children.