Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

“I began my healing thanks to you, Lilly, and I am forever grateful”


I get a lot of feedback about helping people and I am always so thankful that anything I write, helps anyone. I truly want everyone to be on their healing journey, it is my passion and my heart.

To receive this comment a few minutes ago, made me fill up. I realise how profound it actually is, to help anyone ‘begin’ to heal, due to what I share. Wow.

And I know this comment came from someone I know is an intelligent, deeply thinking person, so it’s not a comment that I hear a lot like ‘you are amazing’ etc.

This comment, from this person, means something to me.

Fullscreen capture 14122014 112151 PM

Praise God for anything I share, helping anyone who is suffering, struggling from trauma and abuse they should never have endured ❤

Society is increasingly immature….why?

This is an interesting quote/poster I agree with…


I will go further with this and apply this to EQ too…….particularly in regard to empathy and motivation for people’s behaviours…

The same applies to emotional intelligence (EQ) too – particularly empathy…that is decreasing in society too….

‘My egocentricity and narcissism….

is just as good as your

empathy and compassion’…

That’s society for you………..increasingly selfish, narcissistic, self serving and everyone has an opinion and a right to that opinion – regardless how immature, uneducated, unwise, harmful, abusive etc it is.

Me…..I know the more I learn, the more I don’t know and the more I need to learn…

I am not an expert in anything in life…I am a life student…

And I do know if I am going along with the popular views/needs in society, I am going in the wrong direction..

My need is to seek wisdom, to challenge all I hear, challenge myself, because ego may believe we ‘know it all’ ‘know enough’ etc…. but humility knows we don’t….at all.

Over 37,000 views on this blog in last 6 weeks, despite cutting way back….

Over the last few months, I have cut way back on the time I spend on my social media accounts. And my social media accounts are where a chunk of my blog views occur. So I had anticipated my blog views would drop considerably.

But, I also have many blog views from worldwide internet searches on related topics too, showing my blog posts come up high in internet search results.

I also have views for this blog via my high traffic Website.

It is bizarre to me still, how many read my blog posts and knowing people from so many countries are sitting reading my stuff, every day.

It’s feel surreal. Especially considering the unpleasant nature of the content of my blog.

It’s not like I blog about cooking, or being a health fanatic, or fashion, or how to be a success, or how to make lots of money, or those ever popular ‘happiness is the be-all-and-end-all of everything’ topics…. many people enjoy and are very popular.

I write about topics that are largely ignored, are taboo and avoided by the general population – abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse, mental health, suicide, self harm, abusive people, types of abuse etc….. Not pleasant topics.

But, it does show how the stuff I write about…….there is a need for.

I cannot deny the level of views this blog has, or minimize what that means.

I can convince myself, I can just laugh my way through life….but my body is telling me differently..

My life is bizarre. I have so much trauma I have already processed and more yet to process….plus ongoing current issues…and I am now so overwhelmed, I have gone into ‘fuck it and laugh about it all’ mode.

I am seriously suppressing it all right now. Avoiding, suppressing, minimizing….anything I can do to cope.

Not healthy I know……but sometimes you just gotta do, what you’ve gotta do, to make it through the day.

My body is letting me know, however, this overwhelming load is affecting me.

Headaches, PTSD symptoms, nightmares, noise sensitivity, anxiety, dizziness, muscle pain……all increasing.

It physically hurts to turn my head to the side, both sides. My muscles in my back, neck and shoulders are really sore. And I can handle physical pain, so I know when it is bad….it’s really bad.

Last night I woke up throwing up, and yet no-one else is sick.

But, I have no choice……I cannot fall apart now.

I am under a lot of pressure to keep it together.

So, survival mode is fully loaded.