Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


If it weren’t for my children…

I am done with my life.

I am over presuming it can get better.

I am done with assuming I will ever be able to trust anyone.

I am done with assuming anyone cares, when I know they don’t.

I am done with feeling so alone.

I am done with fearing what other people are doing.

I am done with getting hurt.

I am done with feeling such intense emotional pain.

I am done with this being invalidated, minimized.

And then there’s my children, who I love dearly.

They are my only reason, to have to keep going.

Although maybe they would be better off, if I didn’t.


It’s not good when you are too stressed, to go to counselling.

I am overwhelmed, I know and I recognise that. Swinging between numb, and intense emotions, intrusive memories. Various reasons.

I can’t face counselling, even though that is where it will be assumed I should be.

There is nothing I can be told that I don’t already know.

I know I shut down, for a reason, to protect myself.

I need to be alone and just survive when I feel like this, avoid anyone who may say something that will hurt, avoid any minimizing/invalidating of what I am enduring, avoid people who don’t know this journey, avoid anything that is likely to make it worse.

Just be alone, until this passes.

And hope it does pass.