Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

No-one chooses to be a victim, or chooses to remain a victim. Stop this victim shaming.



People will make all sorts of judgments and assumptions about people, all usually self serving, or due to lack of insight and feeling entitled to make a judgment about something they don’t personally know, or because they want to consider their own journey is the only way.

I have empathy to know, no-one chooses to be a victim, or chooses to remain a victim. And I don’t have the ego, to make such judgments about people.

My own journey has taught me much, a lot about other people’s opinions and views and what the heart and reason is for their opinion.

People talk about having compassion, empathy etc, yet often show to me, they don’t. Not to level they think or wish to believe, or their ego wishes to believe.

Often this is not malicious at all, but it still hurts other people.

Victims of abuse, are shamed and blamed in so many ways, and I see it.

I see how I have done this myself in the past and I have great remorse for that.

I see my own journey has changed me greatly.

I see from knowing my own issues about judgment, and my own wrong opinions of others, that I see this in many others.

I can only put my view out there, and hope it helps someone. But, with the wisdom to understand, most will cling onto their own beliefs.

My beliefs have changed greatly, because I have a deep yearning to grow, learn and be changed, even if that means having to accept how wrong I can be, how my own views have been hurtful and caused harm.

I just want more people to do the same……..and stop hurting abuse victims more.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “No-one chooses to be a victim, or chooses to remain a victim. Stop this victim shaming.

  1. I didn’t like that post by jeff either. Made me feel like I’m choosing to blame myself and hold onto it. I just don’t know how to let go of it because I’ve held onto it for 27 yrs. I’ve only been re experiencing all my symptoms for the last 3 months. I didn’t choose this. I knew it would happen worth going to university i just didn’t know it would be this bad. And that’s because my brain must think I’m ready to cope. Even though i feel I’m not ready i really want to start. I just need to let go of the self blame to begin. I don’t know how to do this. That’s why i felt like I’m stuck in victimhood when he said that.

    • Yes, that whole post and all that occurred around that, was very eye opening to me.

      People’s motives and heart’s often become revealed over time. I don’t think it is malicious of Jeff to have the views he does, but it sure shows to me a lack of insight, a lack of compassion and an big fat ego. And what he is putting out there, in terms of these particular beliefs and victim shaming, is dangerous, and harmful.

      His delusion and ego won’t hear that though, which is why he hid my comments.

      It just furthers my belief that anyone can write books and consider themselves a ‘guru’ and an enlightened person, when actually they are not.

      To use terms like ‘stuck in victimhood’, and other terms like that, are just words coming from someone who believes he is healed, and therefore others who don’t heal the way he believes he has, are deliberately choosing to be victims, which is wrong and lacks compassion.

      But, he wants to sell books and to do that, you need to appeal to the majority.

      And victim shaming, is enjoyed by society…..sadly.

      • It is. I know some people who like to always be the Centre of the attention Wether its positive or negative but to go through what we have and say that is Totaly off the charts. I’m just now realising this is always going to be apart of me i Just need to learn to manage the symptoms. My eyes have been so opened in the last 3 months with all the abuse that goes on in the world. So many people who need healing. And they can take their time! And should be without judgement.