Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Frozen Cosmo’s, swimming in beautiful balmy pool water, in the beautiful evening summer air.

I adore frozen cosmo’s, especially in this Aussie summer weather…..which I have just about come to adapt to…..along with Christmas in the hot weather. Being from the UK…..Christmas in hot, humid weather…..very weird to get used to…

Anyways, back to the cosmo’s……they are so delicious. I buy those buckets, where you just add water and vodka and freeze them up…….and hey presto……delicious frozen treats.

Recently I have taken to having evening swims by myself in our pool at about 10pm, 11 pm and I love it. Absolutely the best time to swim. It’s quiet, the pretty lights are on my fairy garden, the pool water is beautiful….I love it. It feels very different, swimming in the night time. Like it’s for adults only.

So, I’ll be taking another of these frozen treats out by the pool soon and having some peace and quiet, sipping my cosmo’s, doing a few laps in the balmy water, relaxing, admiring my fairy garden.

Do my best to put all my troubles aside and just enjoy this time alone, getting slightly drunk and enjoying the beautiful summer night-time air and the delicious warm pool water.


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Cognitive distortions, once you know about these, you see them everywhere.

cog dis

It really is interesting, when you have pricked someone’s ego…..with something you have written, and then watching them turn the situation, into being ‘all about me’.

What you have written becomes ‘personalised’, with ‘jumping to conclusions’, ‘filtering’ what they read, seeing it in a ‘black and white’ context only from ‘their own perspective’ and then get very defensive and feel very upset with you….

When you know all about cognitive distortions…….you see them everywhere. Most people have no clue they even have cognitive distortions…..but 99% of people, in fact do.

I didn’t know I had them, until I started all my research and educating myself about psychology. And it has been a continual learning process for me, and I’m still working on them. But, the good part is…….I know about them.

And as the saying goes…..

‘You can’t change, what you don’t acknowledge’

List of common cognitive distortions http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/50-common-cognitive-distortions

And the biggest reason I can see this so much in others, is because I made the choice and had the need to acknowledge, and start tackling my own cognitive distortions, which takes a capacity to drop the ego and admit we have unhealthy thinking. Once you see all you own and learn about them…..it becomes so easy to spot them occurring in everyone else.

My desire, is that everyone see their own, and realise they are unhealthy and work on them.

My heart……is only in something I have been willing to do myself and because I want the best for people.


The Cairns murders of 8 children, is so sad. Was drug induced psychosis, the reason?

http://www.9news.com.au/National/2014/12/21/13/19/Woman-charged-over-murder-of-children-in-Cairns

Social media is awash with people shocked, disgusted, outraged that a mother could (allegedly) murder 7 of her children and her niece.

I understand the outrage….as a mother myself, I can’t understand how anyone could do such a horrific act, to her own children. And I feel deeply for the surviving brother, who came home to this scene of horror. I pray he is receiving the counselling and support he will desperately be needing. He will be a prime candidate for PTSD.

It is also being reported, this was out of character, the woman was normally a caring mother, but was allegedly also using the drug Ice.

When I first heard these murders were by the mother, I did wonder about drugs and possible psychosis.

Ice, I have researched (as I do), is a terrible drug, the worst apparently, but also the cheapest. And it does cause psychosis and violent behaviour.

I am not judgmental about people who take drugs. I always wonder ‘why’ they needed to start taking drugs? There will be reasons and often very valid reasons, why someone not coping, often due to mental health issues, will use drugs.

I’ve had alcohol issues, to cope, still do. So, I can empathise why someone would start taking drugs. Mental health, abuse, sexual violence, child abuse, domestic violence….all reasons why people turn to drugs, alcohol, to cope.

Ice, apparently is highly addictive, and affects people’s brains fast. Psychosis, being a very real and common issue with Ice.

Most people who suffer with psychosis, are not violent, and not a threat to others. But, I read that Ice does create a greater likelihood of violent behaviour – completely out of character to normal behaviour.

I’ve read about post-natal psychosis after giving birth, psychosis due to PTSD, severe depression, Bipolar, and many other reasons why psychosis can occur.

I’ve read about a woman who killed and severely disabled her babies, twins, due to post-natal psychosis. And I felt deeply sorry for her. I’ve been told about a psychologist, who after giving birth, left her children completely unattended, which was highly unusual behaviour.

Psychosis, alters your state of mind and you lose touch with reality and your behaviours change, from the norm.

And this is very different, to those people who plan harmful intent to others, and do know what they are doing is wrong, like psychopaths, who are not in fact, suffering psychosis.

I have no idea why this woman murdered her children, and I can’t make any judgment, and neither should anyone else really, because we don’t the facts.

We can still be deeply upset and shocked at the loss of these beautiful children’s lives, in such a horrific way and I trust God is with each of them.

One ongoing lesson this teaches me, is we are all so quick to judge and condemn people, we don’t even know.

Which isn’t okay.