Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The Special Value Of The Outsider


From this link ^ website, which is very informative and helpful 🙂

The Special Value Of The Outsider

Outsiders have been shunned by many societies for a long time. They have a special value for their cultures that is often unrecognized and overlooked.

Outsiders are the guardians of authenticity.

Outsiders And Authenticity

Outsiders live on the edge in a way which provides them with a particular vantage point on life. They tend to have one foot in the conventional world and one foot outside of it. They stay in the world in order to earn a living but are usually not part of the striving energy of the culture. They are usually interesting people.

Outsiders live at the intersection of form and space but their hearts are in space; the place where all creativity and authenticity are possible. There is a reason for this.

Much of human life is sculpted by the social and economic structures that have been created by prior generations and they serve us in many ways. As much as they provide us with support to make life work, they are usually rigid. So they have the downside of being inflexible and not responsive to the needs of an ever changing world.

Inevitably they become burdensome and restrictive. When social structures are unrelentingly inflexible, they invite rebellion and sometimes revolution.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Outsiders have the ability to be the eyes for much needed adaptability and flexibility for existing social structures.

What The Outsider Sees

The outsider notices the disconnects, the holes, the places where existing social and economic structure does not meet the present. In essence it notices when culture is out of step with reality or the truth. Another way of looking at it is that societal structures tend not to have their feet on the ground much the way the head of a corporation does not have the experience of the people in the field or the factory. They tend to be too removed often intentionally so.

Outsiders are interested in discovering what is true as part of their path. It is not a rigid ideological idea of truth. You know – TRUTH.

When outsiders seek the truth they are interested in what is real. What is real is never fixed which is the opposite of the fixed cultural structures that we live with. What is real is ever changing, as is the breath and what we breathe in and out. Each moment is a specific place with its own conditions, constraints and requirements. Societal structures do not deal well with them and as a result often fail. Outsiders are often curious about what is happening and why from their unique vantage point. This makes them great detectives as well as observers. They then can provide the rest of the world with their observations to the benefit of all. They have the potential to help fixed structures be more flexible and responsive to ever changing conditions.

HSPs As Valuable Outsiders

Highly sensitive people usually think of themselves as outsiders. They also, by virtue of their natures, have a lot of insight about what is going on around them. They have the ability because of their nuanced perceptions to notice the disconnects, gaps and other ways in which existing structures fail to meet reality in an appropriate way.

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You’ll more likely see the real heart & soul of a person….when their ego is challenged.


I know this because I have witnessed it repeatedly, all through my life. Even people you would expect to be able to deal with ego okay…..like church ministers and their wives…..but no…….that ego, that need to hide the inner shame……is greater than anything. I see it all over social media………which is rife with ego’s….and people who follow along blindly.

I also know when my own ego about my views, e.g. whether I am able to give advice etc…was challenged, I willingly realised my own views did not apply to all and I needed to have more empathy, more wisdom, seek this and develop it and I did and continue to. With honesty about my need to change, my realisations about things I have clung to, not being wise or healthy and why.

I don’t go along with views that appeal to the masses, as I know these will nearly always be unhealthy.

I have never been a sheep, who just accepts things – even if very popular……I choose to think deeply about it, process it, talk about it….which is actually wisdom.

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The wide gate……or the narrow gate??

A comment on my community page by someone who identified as not being religious, but understands the wisdom of this…

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many…. they certainly are!”

Very true…….and is why I can see so clearly all these people flocking to these immature and unwise beliefs, guru’s, idols, paths etc.

narrow gate

And when writing about this, and blogging about it……….I didn’t think of this Bible verse – Matthew 7:13 – but I am always so thankful when I work something out…….and then see it clarified and validated in the Bible! 🙂

This happens often and I am thankful, as it helps me to know I am listening to Jesus’ Holy Spirit.

Although I also fully know when I am not, as usually I end up falling flat on my face! Sometimes it takes me a long time to accept my ways are not what Jesus is encouraging me with….and I end up learning the hard way.

With those on this wide path and herding through the wide gate….and often the bigger the ego or fear….ego being about fear…….the resistance to hearing this, is great.

Which is sad.

Sad how so many are so easily led, herded along….believing that if something is followed by the masses, it must be right.

Again….sadly, so wrong.


‘Happily ever after’ ……the deep desire of child abuse survivors.


I’ve wanted ‘happily ever after’, all my life.

I have tried to be happy, to create a life for myself, repeatedly….where happily ever after may exist. Of course, it never did.

Even now I day dream, that some lovely kind, caring people will want to adopt me and let me be part of their family. It’s a childhood daydream of mine that never went away.

To hold onto something and have hope, no matter how unrealistic it is……..is something many of us dream of, as a way of coping.

To accept the reality, is painful.

They say without hope, you have nothing. That is true when you have endured a life of pain, that won’t leave your mind, won’t leave your dreams, won’t stop being remembered and re-experienced.

I grew up on fairy tales, where the princess, the damsel in distress is rescued and lives happily ever after. I think those messages we receive from such books, stay with us. As children we desperately hope this will be our journey and we subconsciously continue to want this, into adulthood. We have this idealistic life we dream of and we hope one day will come along, and replace this dark, painful life we endure.

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