I believe in being honest about what I have done in my life that is not okay. And I model that. Because we don’t heal, when we don’t address our own issues, the darkness within us.
I just read a post on another page, asking ‘what kind of person sleeps with a married man/woman?’..
The responses were mostly stating…..whore, skank, bitch, home wrecker, scum, low life….etc.
This was my response……..because I am an honest person….
“Wow, there are a lot of very judgmental people here. I have slept with married men in my 20’s and I am honest about that and no I am not proud of it at all. If I could go back I would not do it.
I suffered considerable sexual abuse from birth onwards, had no self worth and emotionally self harmed as a young adult – by being with men who I knew would hurt me. There are deep psychological reasons involved.
But, if many of you want to call me a whore, skank, slut, bitch, tramp, home wrecker etc, then do what you need to do. But make sure you are perfect before you do.”
The effects of abuse, particularly child sexual abuse, can lead to behaviours that are definitely not okay, not moral and not healthy……but my life has taught me that I have done things I am not proud of and I didn’t intend hurting anyone.
I regret it fully and I have remorse and I do not intend ever repeating it.
I am not perfect, I do wrong, have done wrong and I am doing all I can to be a better person.
It also makes me realise that being judgmental about others, is not a healthy virtue.
I don’t hold hate for any of my abusers, and they ‘did’ intend to hurt me.
I choose to not have hatred in my heart and to keep working on compassion for others and to keep being honest.
This post received good responses and it helps other know how to deal with our own wrongs, our own shit stuff we have done, we need to own, and be honest about.