In telling others on my community page, I slept with married men in my 20’s, I have taken a huge dive off the pedestal some had put me on.
And received emails with hatred and anger.
But, that’s okay……I know people hurt others when they are hurt and I have already said to people not to put me on a pedestal, because I can guarantee I will fall off it.
Being an honest person……interestingly……is much harder than being someone who only presents the nice stuff they are.
I don’t want to be a person who points the finger at others, says how terrible their sins are, and yet conveniently ignores my own.
This level of honesty polarises people. Either they appreciate the honesty, or they get very angry about what you are admitting to because of their own hurt and use that to vent their own stuff.
I know I never intended to hurt anyone, I was hurting myself. And I know the psychology behind this. But fully admit what I have done in the past, in sleeping with married men, is absolutely wrong, 100% not morally okay, I have had a lot of shame, much remorse and have changed considerably from that person over 15 years ago.
I am secure in my understanding of who I am, how my intentions were never to deliberately harm others, I know why I did it, I am still dealing with the consequences of my self harming behaviours.
I don’t need the validation of who I am from others. I share my journey to help others who may be enduring the same journey. being honest helps those who need to hear it.
I can’t control the opinions and views of others, people will always believe what they want to believe. And I don’t have to accept their opinion.
But honesty is important to me……far more so than my image.