To grieve what you always wanted……….and will never have……..is painful. To work out what it is you desperately needed, have been grieving your whole life about never having…. And to then face a future knowing you will never have it…….feels incredibly cruel.
I don’t understand why some people have love in their lives…….and others don’t.
It’s a basic human need.
And I’ve never felt it from someone.
And I never will.
And I don’t expect anyone to understand how this feels and how this needs to be grieved and how painful it is. The death of everything you ever wanted. As well as all the other grieving.
It’s one of those ‘unless you have personally experienced the depth of suffering this causes, then you won’t know.’
Like much of my life…….most don’t understand how it feels.