I am so thankful to see all this research confirming what I already knew…..that focussing ‘only on the positives’ (positive thinking is everything guru’s) and ‘happiness is everything’ crowd……is in fact making society weaker…by ‘telling’ people to ignore all the yuck stuff…..and just focus on good stuff.
Band aid behaviours……are shallow and don’t deal with what is truly within and we have emotions for a reason and this is all becoming more and more accepted within the psychology expert fields now.
I have no doubt that all the intense sadness, considerable grieving, deep processing and pain I have endured in my life, particularly over the last 2 years, is why I have grown so much and I am considered to have greater than average depth of thinking and wisdom.
“Sadness makes you more rational, your thinking more concrete. It reduces gullibility, forgetfulness, and susceptibility to stereotypes. It also makes you more sensitive to social norms, increasing politeness and fairness. By contrast, happiness can lead to superficial thinking, hubris, and risk taking. Accepting negative feelings such as sadness can, ironically, lower depression; it doesn’t compound the problem by making people feel bad for feeling bad.”
“Whether avoiding sadness or anger, confusion or boredom, distancing ourselves from our negative feelings cripples everyday functioning and growth. It also alienates us from the full range of human experience.”
“While you never look for grief,” Barbara Perry says, “it’s one of the hugest growing experiences you’ll ever have. It deepens you as a human being.”