Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The upside of sadness…..and no doubt why I have grown so much in the last 2 years.

I am so thankful to see all this research confirming what I already knew…..that focussing ‘only on the positives’ (positive thinking is everything guru’s) and ‘happiness is everything’ crowd……is in fact making society weaker…by ‘telling’ people to ignore all the yuck stuff…..and just focus on good stuff.

Band aid behaviours……are shallow and don’t deal with what is truly within and we have emotions for a reason and this is all becoming more and more accepted within the psychology expert fields now.

I have no doubt that all the intense sadness, considerable grieving, deep processing and pain I have endured in my life, particularly over the last 2 years, is why I have grown so much and I am considered to have greater than average depth of thinking and wisdom.

“Sadness makes you more rational, your thinking more concrete. It reduces gullibility, forgetfulness, and susceptibility to stereotypes. It also makes you more sensitive to social norms, increasing politeness and fairness. By contrast, happiness can lead to superficial thinking, hubris, and risk taking. Accepting negative feelings such as sadness can, ironically, lower depression; it doesn’t compound the problem by making people feel bad for feeling bad.”

“Whether avoiding sadness or anger, confusion or boredom, distancing ourselves from our negative feelings cripples everyday functioning and growth. It also alienates us from the full range of human experience.”

“While you never look for grief,” Barbara Perry says, “it’s one of the hugest growing experiences you’ll ever have. It deepens you as a human being.”



Do people who try to push certain views, have ‘their’ own personal reasons….?

I am very aware people often are a result of the experiences in life they have faced.

So when dealing with someone who consistently fails to show emotion about what abusive people can do and fails to understand the pain and suffering caused…..

Coupled with their continual need to term abusive people as ‘okay’ and have clear issues as to others describing them differently and more negatively….

It makes me wonder why?

Do they have issues from their own personal lives that cloud their own judgment and views? Have they had some abusive family member or someone close to them – do despicable things and so that affects their own judgment? Is that why they are so adamant abusive people should only be viewed ‘their’ way? Is this why they are so against labelling because they don’t want their own relative/friend etc…labelled? is this why they really dislike the view that people ‘protect’ and ‘enable’ abusers?

Do they have more invested in the way they think, than I realise? Is this in fact a personal issue and not actually about me at all, or what I need?

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Determined to be a voice and not let people’s opinions bother me.

I don’t want to be someone who ignores all the horrible stuff, because I am concerned about the reactions and vitriol of others. I want to be tougher than that, and keep focussed on my reasons, my motivation and remembering what other people say, is a reflection of who they are.

I don’t have to explain to everyone I have been raped for several years by a psychopath, or continually explain myself. Just give my opinion – which is based on life experiences, insight and research understanding. And hope it helps a few people.

I want to ignore the people I should ignore and state my message anyway.

I know what a sexual predator psychopath is, I have endured one. I know what they are and what they do.

And I do know there can be crossing over between narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy and no I cannot diagnose Bill Cosby, but there is enough evidence out there, for me to believe he is a predator and he has hurt women.

His latest ‘joking’ about the situation, is taunting these women and I believe because psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists, often never admit they are wrong and I have seen this repeatedly, in my life experiences and in the media. It is considered weakness to admit you are wrong. They feel entitled to do everything they want to do and that no-one should stop them. They are very dangerous people.

And rape is never funny and those who believe it is, have very poor mental health and I do not want that view encouraged in society.

So, I decided to use my voice about Bill Cosby on a post by Huffington Post.

And my comment is the most liked, and of course attracted it’s share of people agreeing, and people disagreeing. And I am okay with that. It also attracted some nasty stuff, but I choose to just ignore that.