Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Je Ne Suis Pas Charlie


I will also use freedom of speech and freedom of expression to push back against hatred.

I will never condone terrorism, or murder……..but neither will I support those who choose to support hatred.

And I don’t care which form of delusion, or cognitive distortion, or personality disorder traits they wish to use to support hatred and harm to others……..I won’t.

My opinion and view will be in the minority and I am thankful, as that is always where wisdom is found.

If it isn’t encouraging wisdom, empathy, compassion, fairness, love…etc……..than I am not condoning it under the oh so convenient excuse of ‘freedom of speech’, and ‘freedom of expression’.

This might be a simplistic view……..but sometimes, it really is as simple as this.

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Anxiety about counselling tomorrow.

I have questions that I have to ask……but I am not certain I am going to like the answers.

And I will be very vigilant as to body language, tone of voice and facial cues etc…..as to the reactions.

There is a part of me that wants to not ‘go there’. But, regardless of those reasons……..I have to know.

If my counselling is heading down certain paths – the views other ‘Christians’ have – I will be quitting.

And me being me, I have to be prepared for the outcomes………because when I’m not, it makes it far harder to cope with. I’ve tried assuming good outcomes will occur, in the past……and they didn’t.

People have really weird views about abuse, people who abuse and how to deal with all that………and I know church people can be worse than secular society….on dealing with it wisely.

And quite frankly, I am sick of my suffering being minimized and invalidated with terms used to describe the horror of what people did to me as ‘behaviours’ and having this constant belief pushed on me that I am to view people who ‘make choices’ to do horrific things to others…..as nice people really, who just sometimes have ‘bad behaviours’.

I know that makes life so comfortable and easy for some.

I see that people become very de-sensitised to the horror of abuse.

I know people will have their own personal reasons why they ‘need’ to view people a certain way.

But, I’m not them.

And none of that is about ‘my’ needs.

And I do see it all very clearly and just how horrific it is…….and I am not minimizing my suffering and what I know about the people who caused it……..to suit others.

A doctor ~ helping homeless people every night ~ 23 years ~ not for money. True compassion.


Now this is the kind of person that gives me hope and reminds me of the true goodness in some of humanity.

People who work for less than can earn…and volunteer, with no other motive than to reach out and help people who need help……are the kind of people I wish I had in my life.

This doctor…..who could be using his skills to make more money….instead is helping the homeless 5 days a week……and has been for 23 years!

I’ve always known that true hearts of compassion, come from those who help and volunteer and do so, not within their own community and group of people….but for those who they are not in any way connected with.

This is why I don’t ever want my ‘work’ to become about money. Not that I remotely compare what I do, to that of this wonderful doctor……but once money becomes involved……the real heart of compassion goes right out the window.

Empathy and compassion, are not meant to be about money, job, career, ego, success……they are meant to be about others….completely.

I told my husband the other day……much to his raised eyebrows response……I don’t want to make money from what I do. I would rather have a job doing one thing – that is worthwhile……but keep my passion, totally money free.

This is why the Mercy Ships are amazing……all volunteers, who take a whole chunk of time out of their lives, to completely volunteer to help the most poor people in the world.

These are the kind of people, who volunteer in truly worthy ways……who inspire me…..that make me cry with joy and give me hope in humanity and I thank Jesus for.

Over 2,000 more Facebook community members, in less than 3 weeks!

My Facebook community page, where created and admin…..

@ https://www.facebook.com/HealingFromComplexTraumaAndPTSDAndCPTSD

Hit a milestone on 23rd December 2014, at 20,000 members.

This was after 2 years of running this peer support page and it is currently the largest Facebook page dealing with Complex PTSD.

It is also the largest PTSD Facebook page not connected to an organisation (they pay to increase likers, gain more interest).

Less than 3 weeks later and the community has grown by more than 2,000, now at 22,054 likers ~ 11th January 2015.

I think it is a pretty positive way to start 2015…. !

And whilst this is a blip in the world ~ I will be content with the positive nature of the peer support I strive ~ don’t always succeed in ~ and I know I do not do perfectly ~ but strive to offer.

With my motto as always…

Reaching out & sharing my journey

praying people feel less alone,

a little more understood,

keepin’ it real,

keepin’ it honest.



I wonder if it’s a healthy positive decision………to change my name, legally.

I don’t want the name my mother gave me. I like my pen name.

I wonder if it’s healthy and could aid my healing, to actually change my name, by deep poll, or whatever it’s called….so I can distance myself even further from my past…

Hmmmmmm…….will ponder this one….

Checked and it’s really easy….costs $160….but a straight forward process…