I’ve been drinking alcohol since I was 13/14 years old. And I’ve had issues with it since then.
It is a significant factor in my life, particularly with regard to sex. It is very common for child sexual abuse survivors, to have alcohol and intimacy issues ~ both physically, psychologically and emotionally. And they can be very different for everyone and fluctuate between different abuse related issues, many endure. Often creating deep levels of shame.
I’ve drunk a lot of alcohol in my life, and I’ve had a lot of sex in my life, and the two go together in my mind…….’like milk with coffee’.
Yes, you can drink coffee without milk and many do, but it is very bitter……in my experience. And that bitterness, I do not wish to repeat.
I do not like and cannot drink coffee ~ without milk. The milk makes it far easier to drink. And I like my coffee, made with milk, not water and splash of milk.
And I am addicted to coffee….I know that.
And I am addicted to coffee, made with milk.
For me, there is no other way I can emotionally, physically and psychologically, ‘drink coffee’.
And everyone, past and present has always been very happy to supply my ‘milk’.
So they too, can enjoy their ‘coffee’.
And I accept, that won’t change. And the reasons why.
Another one of those incredibly difficult issues, I have had to face, that makes my life, continue, to be very difficult.
I am glad I posted this onto my community page, because it did help other to know they are not alone in this. And that the use of metaphors, can help, even within counselling.
Someone stated they nearly cried reading this blog post, because it is such a difficult subject and one that would be easier not faced at all and that to be alone and not in a relationship, would make life so much easier. And I agree. It would. But, that is not an option for me, or for many.