Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I had to learn to be this for myself…… True colours ~ Eva Cassidy

“True Colors”

You with the sad eyes
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness there inside you
Can make you feel so smallBut I see your true colors
Shining through
See your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbowShow me a smile then,
Don’t be unhappy, can’t remember when I last saw you laugh
If this world makes you crazy
And you’ve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I’ll be there

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More gardening therapy and healing…..

I see my gardening and transforming my yard/gardens…..as therapy and healing.

Before pics…


A grassy patch, become a muddy patch…then….



After pics…..

After path, archway and planting..


Sleeper pathway, with pretty white stones and sparkly blue stone…..all under the arch,





My gorgeous tree, which is a bizarre shape……..like a huge bonsai tree 🙂


Pretty things hanging from the tree 🙂


Gorgeous purple and turquoise butterfly wind chime 🙂


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I will always educate about abusive people….something not common with ‘church people’.

I have only been able to come as far as I have in my journey……..because I educated myself…….about abusive people.

This was necessary, so I could learn what happened to me, why I was treated the way I was, why none of this was my fault – or anything to do with what was wrong with ‘me’.

All the abuse……was what was wrong with ‘them.’ All of them.

I was told by my first counsellor that I am doing most of my own counselling…..and she was right….I have.

I haven’t learned 99% of what I know and how it affected me……in counselling.

I learned it myself…..through months of dedication to educating myself and seeing how the psychology aspect of everything….fitted with the harm and abuse I have endured and my deep discernment. Continue reading

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There comes a point in this healing journey when….

There comes a time in this healing journey, when we know enough about abusive people, we’ve done enough research and processing about narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths etc.

And the time needed to process, educate and learn about this….does not have to be a lifetime.

We can choose for this to not be a lifetime.

I know I need to make the choice, after 3 years of processing, educating, learning, crying, and feeling intense pain about it all……..to either let what they are, and what they have done to me….to continue to consume me….

Or have the courage and determination…..to make the needed effort to not allow my thoughts to be about them daily.

And it is a choice we need to make at some point.

To not make this choice….is self harm, self sabotage and a lack of emotional boundaries…..hurting us all the more.

And no-one who has been abused….deserves that.

We deserve good in our lives, joyful and lovely things.

I so truly want everyone I cherish and hold in my heart….to know they deserve the nice, lovely, good things.