Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I am discerning as to whom I invite into my personal space.

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I have learned, I can care about people, and even love them……..but not need to have them in my life.

There are many mental health issues people have that so self serving, entitled and delusional, or living in illusions….and their vibes are unhealthy and not good for me.

I always picture me in my safe place……my home.

And who I would invite in to my table for dinner and who I wouldn’t?

Inviting someone into my safe place ~ home ~ is an intimate personal action, that requires some level of trust..now. Those few who are invited in, are those I have some level of trust in them being decent people.

Those who aren’t….or have issues that affect my healing, my soul, my heart……..don’t get invited in and I can just let them keep walking past my front gate/door. I have no ill feelings, no negative emotions, I do wish them only good things, people are people……but I do have an awareness of being discerning as to who I allow into my personal space….now.

I am an introvert. I am quite shy at heart. I struggle with anxiety, although less than before. I no longer want to try to be an extrovert ~ as I have strived to be, all my life.

I need my space and my space is sacred.

My ‘space’ has been assaulted, invaded, disrespected, brutalised and too much darkness has invaded it, in the past.

I don’t intend to allow that to happen anymore.

I need people in my life, who hold the same types of values and virtues I hold.

I can care and love people, for who they are…….but at a needed distance, that respects myself.


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Don’t become a better asshole…

This needs to be said…..as society pushes constantly for people to just ‘be who they are’, don’t change you are perfect’……without clarifying that any yucky stuff, any stuff that affects and harm others……..needs to be worked on and not just ignored, excused and enabled.

I do not encourage behaviours and attitudes that are unhealthy, dysfunctional and harms others, as this is very unwise.

I encourage people growing, and learning and becoming better people……not becoming entitled and enabling of their own dysfunction.

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What advocacy for mental health……should *not* be about.

*sigh.

There is a big difference between being honest/open about mental health….and using it as a big excuse to be unhealthy and enabling/encouraging dysfunctional behaviours – that do in fact affect ‘other people’.

That’s the big issue I see…..is the narcissism within people…..’I am what I am and I don’t care if my ‘stuff’ affects you – tough – I don’t intend changing’.

So NOT what advocating for mental health should be about, at all.

But, appeals to the selfishness and narcissism in too many people and in particular certain mental health disorders (there are several directly linked to narcissistic behaviours outside of the personality disorder clusters).

 And mental health stigma is increased……by these unwise & egocentric people.

And this is why I cannot work with such people and I do not promote their behaviours/’work’.


I don’t ‘get’ most church people….

I have been abused by a church…..so I have seen many of their unhealthy behaviours in action.

I was discussing the devastating effects of church abuse, spiritual abuse with someone, who stated their son was abused in a church, by a church elder…..who yes was ‘pulled up’ by other elders, but continued to be an elder for years…..until he finally left.

How was a person capable of openly abusing people/children…..an elder in the first place?

I mean come on……church elders are meant to be those who are wise and for others to seek guidance from.

I know church elders who are abusers……they spiritually and emotionally abuse adults. They physically abuse their children, by belting them, and they have heavy focusses on physical discipline……none of which is actually Biblical when you know the correct meaning of certain verses.

My view is ‘how the fuck are they elders?’

Easy answer, because unhealthy churches, have unhealthy leaders, ministers and elders…

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