Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I whinge about Facebook….. but it is free, and it can help many….. when used appropriately.

Facebook wants to force admins of pages to pay…… because they are greedy.

But…… Facebook is free and for that I am very thankful.

Most people who read my community page…… don’t in fact comment, because they don’t want it showing up in their friends newsfeeds, and I totally understand that.

Not everyone is an open book like me, and that is absolutely okay and many will have very valid reasons for this.

This post, reminds me of a percentage of the people, who are following my page.

People want to justify the darkness within their own souls, but….

People want to justify & enable the darkness in their own souls…. whilst protesting at the darkness in the souls of others…

And think this is healthy.

Sadly, it is not……. it is highly dysfunctional and will mean people stay angry, bitter, unhealthy & dysfunctional all their lives.

Which makes me sad……. as I don’t want that for anyone.

I am taking issue with anything inside me, that is not healthy.

It is an ongoing journey…. I choose to take….. of seeking wisdom, asking for help to illuminate anything that is not healthy and is darkness within myself and being honest about it, and wanting to get rid of it, no matter how much I sometimes want to stamp my feet like a child, and cling on to it.

And it is about that immature ego, that refuses to grow, and see what needs to change.

Maturity……. is about knowing we need to grow….. change…… transform…….. and remove anything that is not healthy, is not goodness and is not light.

Booked to the Dr Bessel van der Kolk workshop.


Psychological trauma causes significant damage to self-organization and perception, which is reflected in measurable alterations in brain function and structure. As a result, survivors lose the capacity to render the experience in words, endure unrelenting hyper- and hypo-arousal. They lose a sense of continuous inner presence and abiding calm.

Dr van der Kolk investigates specific changes in organization of self and perception that result from severe trauma, abuse and neglect. At the cutting edge of research in trauma, he examines measurable alterations of brain function and structure – as well as specific clinical interventions that may reverse or compensate for such alterations. He is currently working with a number of leading trauma researchers on adaptation and resolution, and shares the very latest findings from this work at these workshops.

These workshops are suitable for (but not limited to) mental health professionals, including psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, counsellors and social workers. There are no prerequisites to attending this workshop. Anyone interested in the workshop content is welcome to attend, however you do so under your own volition.

Very thankful to be able to go to this 2 day workshop – and hear such an insightful man…… a world leader in complex trauma research.

Looking forward to all I will learn…….. no doubt some of which will be confronting and challenging to me ~ as a complex trauma survivor.

Looking forward to being able to share all I learn……. in a way that will hopefully help others.

I do have increasing peace, within my heart and soul….. due to how I view abusers.

I educate people about abuse and abusers …..because I know it is needed for healing/recovery.

I would not be where I am at now ……. had I not learned all about the abuse I endured, why and how it affected me. And I learned most of this myself.

I’ve been severely sexually abused over prolonged periods of time, raped repeatedly by a paedophile and a psychopath (different trauma at different ages) who kept me in captivity for several years and tortured me…..and had a mother who set me up to be sexually abused…

It’s all pretty horrific.

And I am at a point in my healing…….where I can view them as being very sick and ill individuals, with severe mental health issues and they do indeed need dealing with, locking up to stop them from re-offending – for the future victims sakes, and for their own.

I do not agree, or condone people ignoring, enabling, minimizing what they do. Or chucking cheap grace at the situation. All that is also darkness.

But, I have no desire for revenge and never have. I don’t wish bad things on them. I only want what is appropriate, and needed.

I have a level of compassion for anyone who has such darkness within them….. as I don’t want anyone to be that way.

I wish everyone could be healthy and know what is good and lovely and be kind human beings.

The whole thing makes me sad. For all concerned.

I choose to not hold bitterness and darkness about them……. in my own heart and soul.

And I have increasing peace in my heart and soul.


I still have my own grieving emotions, I do need to have and express. And I will grieve all my life….. this lessoning over time.

But, I do believe the way I view abusers……. is healthy, and is part of healing.

A comment on my healing page from a mental health professional, about my blog post I wrote expressing how I feel about my abusers…

 “I commend you for your breathtaking compassionate view toward your abusers”.

I am thankful to now be able to model… empathy and compassion.

It has been a huge journey, to get to this point….. a journey I had to really want and persist in, and I am thankful to share it.

Dr Bessel van der Kolk, is coming to Brisbane!! …. I’m going if there are places left.


I can’t really afford this…….. so it’s going on the credit card.

I do not want to miss the opportunity to hear a world leader in complex trauma.

I will be SO excited if I can go.

Need my husband to check his roster…