~~~ When to consider ‘no contact’ ~~~
Healthy emotional boundaries, are very much needed and an act of self care and self respect.
If the harm people cause – including family members – continues to hurt your healing journey and hurt your heart and soul….
And they will not change, or respect boundaries….
Then it can be needed to consider no contact.
My family of origin are so toxic and harmful….. I do have to have no contact.
My view…… along with many mental health professionals…… is that to keep being within toxic relationships – is in fact a form of emotional self harm and self sabotage….
We do not need to be ‘martyrs’ …. to others people’s abusive ways.
Some people will claim you ‘should’ stay in contact with certain people e.g. your parents, adult children….. no matter what they do.
But, this is psychologically very wrong and damaging to ‘tell’ someone that….. and is a form of abuse too.
Going ‘no contact’ is a very difficult and emotional decision and one that needs a great deal of thought.
But ask yourself…….. do you ‘deserve’ to keep being emotionally harmed by someone?
I used to believe I did deserve this, I had issues with thinking I needed to be hurt, I wasn’t worthy of anything better….
But not anymore.
And this does not mean I hate those people I have no contact with…… I don’t. I don’t hate anyone. Not any of my abusers.
But, my self worth, self care and self compassion….. along with my healthy emotional boundaries, have all increased…… as my healing increases.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario