Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

A post to my page on Externalised/Internalised Abuse…


~~ Externalised / Internalised Abuse ~~

Victims of abuse, often do one or the other…… or sometimes both… and this is well known in trauma/abuse psychology.

1. Externalising the abuse…. and projecting that outwards … hurting others… abusing others.


2. Internalising the abuse….. and hurting self…. continuing the abuse, to self.

And that internalised abuse, becomes a subconscious compulsion – to re-enact abuse and harm self .. and an addiction to that.

Which is all very common, after abuse/trauma. So if you know you do this, please know, it is very normal after abuse ❤

I realised, I was the latter…. and all my unhealthy behaviours, all my dysfunction, emotional self harming, self sabotaging, abuse re-enacting, choosing to be around harmful people etc…. was the continuation of all the abuse done to me previously.

That was when I realised, I needed to stop abusing myself and started working really hard on this….. because I knew I could change this pattern. And I was determined to change this.

This was a very painful and challenging stage of my healing process …… and I needed lots of self care and self compassion to deal with this.

And support in counselling, which is something I always advise people seek.

This is not easy for me to share – so please be gentle in any comments (thank you) ….. and I am sharing this…… only because it is my hope it may help someone who is at or near this stage ready to think and consider this.

I realise not everyone will be ready or need to read this, and that’s okay ….. but there will be some who will benefit from reading this, and this post is for them.

Much love, and full understanding, of how difficult and painful, this journey can be.

But with a message of hope….. that we can heal through this journey ❤

Lilly ❤

I was thankful to have very well educated mental health professionals like this post on my page…… because it helps me to know I am on the right track, in expressing this.

(You will need to be logged into FB, to see this).

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “A post to my page on Externalised/Internalised Abuse…

  1. Hi There – how do we stop the self-sabotage. On my journey trying to get out of C-PTSD from long-term childhood and adult abuse, I found myself backsliding today to self injury and in self sabotage with the first work-related event Ive had in years. How do I stop the self sabotage? Thanks for any tips. And I applaud you for bringing this to light. It should be recognized….

    • I have learned different ways to help me deal cope with my emotions. Now, I use distraction, breathing strategies, I write (hence my many blog posts), talking it through in counselling, listening to music, gardening and I can use visualisation in escaping to my ‘safe place’ when overwhelmed.
      Learning how to manage stress, triggers, anxiety etc, helped me manage emotions, have better impulse control, better ways to cope with situations when they arise.
      Although, this is still very much a work in progress for me, and I see any general improvement as an achievement.
      I have had many subconscious self harming, self sabotage behaviours, but have learned to have self compassion about these too and not feel shame.
      This is what I want for others too ❤
      My website has lots of info on healthy coping strategies, which may be of interest to you.
      It's at http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/
      Lilly ❤