Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Maybe I am just enabing abuse… maybe I am just allowing myself to be abused….

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One issue I have noticed and it does make me think I am enabling abuse…. is my husband’s issues are getting worse.

I know that if you give narcissistic people an inch….. they will take a mile.

And anyone who doesn’t realise this, does not know personality disorders.

I see my husbands lies frequently now. And he truly does not care, no remorse, no guilt and he will continue. He is a pathological liar.

People who lie a lot, rarely change, I’ve read that too.

As my reactions to my husband change and I don’t get angry, move on from it quicker  etc……. I do know this gives him the green light, to lie more.

Like a child…….. what you allow, they will continue and they will increase.

So, not getting angry – is probably making it worse.

He knows he can ‘get away with it’.

And he has zero remorse about this.

This has been really bothering me …… and is why I do need to question what I am doing.

It’s easy for people to say… you should just leave him.

Its also easy for people to say …… I should stay and do XYZ.

It’s easy for them to make me feel bad and feel shame for not agreeing with them and doing what ‘they’ say I ‘should’ do.

I am being emotionally abused, and I know that.

Lying to someone often, is abuse.

Being constantly aware of lies, not being with someone I can trust, is not pleasant and is horrible to endure, and I am not going to let anyone ‘tell’ me, I should not have emotions about this.

Why would anyone choose to be married to someone they absolutely know they cannot trust, be aware they could be having an affair, worry about my children picking up on all his stuff, and ending up the same.

Why I am doing this to myself?

Why am I allowing and enabling someone to increase their abusive behaviours.

Have I not endured enough.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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