Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

More feedback from a MH professional with a clinic in London.

So very thankful to receive this feedback and for the writer, to ask my permission to share this to her website.

Lily Hope Lucario ‘ I survived a sadistic psychopath & a paedophile psychopath, a couple of abusive sociopaths, and a couple of abusive narcissists, what’s your superpower?’  

Lily suffers from complex PTSD and a range of related conditions such as fibromyalgia and depression after experiencing multiple trauma.  But she has worked very hard on her healing, and has learnt so much that she is now is now spreading her healing to others. 

She inspires and supports survivors of trauma with her writing, communicating her posts on facebook several times a day. 

I came across her work last year whilst studying trauma prevention and treatment. 

There are other  great people writing on this subject but Lily has taught me the most in the shortest space of time, because she keeps it simple and accessible, and I find the information can be integrated into my life on a personal and professional level.

If you have suffered trauma or know some one who has then this website is a great place to start looking at how you can begin to heal, and help those you love to heal too. 

I hope some of you reading this will look at Lily’s work and be inspired and maybe healed a little bit on your journey through life too.  For her website follow this LINK


9 Signs It’s Time To Let Go Of A Relationship….


Well as per this list, I should definitely be moving on. I have made all the parts that are issues in my marriage, bold.

Here are 9 signs it’s time to let go and move on

1. The person unremittingly breaks your trust.

There is a reason that trust is number one – because trust is the most important in each and every kind of relationship. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship is built, and it is mistrust which often destroys it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than being deceitful.

Something to understand – when you trust someone and they continuously break your trust, it’s not your fault it’s theirs. It’s very natural to immediately blame yourself for having trusted someone only to have them break that trust, but don’t.

It’s only through experience where we determine whether or not someone is trustworthy; either way, you’ll learn a valuable lesson or add a great relationship.

2. The person is incessantly needy.

A good relationship is one in which you can depend on someone or vice-versa. However, too much dependence is a sign of neediness. This is a problem because neediness drains you of your time and energy, including the time and energy necessary to maintain other relationships and take care of yourself.

People that are incessantly needy always seem to be coming to you – for pampering, favors, money, praise, or something else. You may begin to feel that the person is an emotional ball and chain. If a relationship begins to feel this way, it may be time to reconsider why you have a relationship like this in the first place.

3. You change who you are around that person.

You should never feel the need to be another person just to accommodate someone. It’s exhausting first of all, and it is a telltale sign that the relationship is not consensual. There is some element of that individual that does not jive with the person you are.

Whether or not the person verbalizes their dissatisfaction with you or you innately know that you must change in order for them to accept you doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do not feel comfortable being yourself, which shouldn’t be acceptable to you under any circumstance.

4. You don’t feel positive after talking to or seeing them.

A positive relationship should mostly be uplifting. Sure, there are going to be some rough patches along the way, but it’s mostly a constructive experience. You should be accepting of each other, supportive and responsive.

If you hit a point where the positive aspects of the relationship are sporadic, it may be time to move on. You may actually come to a point where you actually attempt to avoid the person, while hoping to maintain the relationship. This may sound crazy, but people do it all the time. “Maybe it’ll get better” they think to themselves. Perhaps, but then it’s not a normal, functioning, or healthy relationship.

Continue reading


Where I am thinking of volunteering.

I’ve been thinking of volunteering for a while now, but been very tied up in my work online. I know I need to cut back on that and have work I can do – volunteering outside of trauma related stuff.

So, I’ve decided to contact Operation Christmas Child (Samaritans Purse), and see if there is a location near me, where I can volunteer as I know their work is year round, not just leading up to Christmas. I also know there is a Mercy Centre near to where I live, where they provide food parcels and very cheap clothing etc, for those in great need – like those escaping domestic violence, homeless, refugees, pensioners etc.

They are such needed causes and require as many volunteers as possible to keep them going and I would like to offer my time and whatever I can do to help. Even if it is jus a few hours a week, it all helps and then I won’t get overwhelmed, as I have a lot of stress going on.

Charity work is something I have wanted to do since I was 20 years old, and since then I have either been working full time, or trying to survive and heal.

Although my work online is not paid work, so that is charity work. I don’t do it for money or anything other than because it is much needed. But, I know now is the time, to start doing more, give to the local community and help those in need in other ways.

So, I am going to contact them, and see what I can offer, that may be of use to them.

I also know I am likely to meet and be around people who are more like myself – people who give, who care, who have empathy and compassion for others in need, and I know this will be good for me also to be around good people, which in turn will be good for my wellbeing and therefore, good for my children.

This will also be something my children will see me do, and will help them -as they grow to want to also be people who give – who volunteer, have empathy etc.

I came home early….

I didn’t sleep well last night…. new bed, new noises etc… My sleep issues are not as bad as they have been, but being alone and in a new place, is not easy.

I woke up at 4am, and went out early for breakfast and coffee.

By 9am, I felt unwell, tired, missing my children and just wanted to be home, so I came home.

One night away would have been enough. I had already done the beach, the pool etc and it was all so lovely, but I wanted be home, in my safe place, surrounded by all I love, and more importantly, my children.

At least I know going away, does not solve what is going on, and it makes me miss my children and feel worse.

I feel more exhausted, than I did yesterday.

But, that’s okay, I am home, and that’s what matters.

I checked my email and I have a heap of people all asking where my healing Facebook page has gone, panicking that I have shut it permanently, or worried I have blocked them. It is quite amazing how many people do find great comfort in my community page and all I share and post.

I’ve had a reply from the journalist about the questions I answered and he stated my ‘insights were fascinating and heartfelt’ and will follow up with some more questions, so that’s good.

I’m not putting my healing page back up, or going on Twitter etc for a while yet, not sure when I will, I’m aware how exhausted I am and need self care.

Going to upload pics of my time away and then crash out and watch a movie.