I am truly OVER people dismissing emotional abuse.
It is very damaging and a relationship of any kind where emotional abuse is occurring – is painful, soul destroying and never ‘adequate’.
I have recently made it very clear to my husband – I am not tiptoeing around him, having to force myself to be what ‘he’ wants, being scared of what may happen, worrying about what lies I am being told, worrying about what he is doing…. not anymore.
I’ve made it very clear – if you are having an affair, or I find out you have had/are – you are out, bags packed. I will NOT tolerate that. If he wants to be with other people, that is okay, but he ends this relationship first, like a decent human being.
I will not tip toe around him anymore, to pacify ‘his’ personality disorder issues.
I will not ignore, minimize, avoid, justify, excuse, or tolerate anymore of his lying, responsibility avoidance, manipulation.
He keeps lying or any of his other disordered/disturbed behaviours, he is out, bags packed, no longer welcome in my home, with my children.
He gets his act together, stops the emotional abuse, or our relationship is over.
My wellbeing *is* paramount for me, over his issues……. because I *need* to be strong for my children…… because my children *are* my priority – over him and his issues.
That’s the consequences he faces, if he chooses to continue with his abusive behaviours.
Because I know, these behaviours are still a ‘choice’, as per the experts in personality disorders and abusive people.
If he chooses to grow, mature, accept his issues, then I will support him.
But unconditional love, is not about unconditionally accepting bad, abusive behaviours.