My discernment and insight skills are pretty deep. I actually wish they weren’t, but that’s one of the outcomes of all the abuse I have endured in my life, due to the survival need of vigilance.
People mostly act from their own needs and then project that outwards.
I’ve even realised this is what my counsellor does. She has this need to be a ‘good Christian’, and be nice/compassionate to everyone, so in order to make that possible, she has formulated a set of her own needs/views to be able to deal with abusive people….. and then projects that onto others.
She ‘needs’ – for herself, to deal with abusers and abuse as ‘neutral’. She doesn’t want to see abusers as ‘bad’ people, because she has to be nice to them. So the self needy easy road, is to view them as neutral.
And she has projected that onto me……….. which is nothing to do with ‘my’ needs……. it’s ‘her’ own issues.
She shamed me into believing ‘her’ needs are wise, and to see abusive relationships as adequate. Even though that is such bad advice to give to me. But, her needs and views were paramount above the needs of her client. Not intentionally, but never-the-less, that’s the bottom line.
People have this ‘self-driven’ behaviour all the time and then can justify their own needs – as compassion, grace, mercy and forgiveness.
And I don’t think this makes someone a bad person, but humanity is selfish and acts from own needs.
But, this is why I will never trust anyone.
No-one can be trusted.
I don’t trust my counsellor.
I don’t trust anyone.
I will remain alone for the rest of my life, because I know not to trust humanity.
This gets proven to me, over and over.