Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Why would I trust anyone?

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trust

I know not to trust anyone.

Because everyone hurts you and lets you down.

Most people wear masks of who they really are and I can see beyond that mask.

Most people don’t live their lives completely honest with everything out there, as I do.

People look out for their own interests, at the expense of others, whenever they feel the need and will hurt others, with no remorse.

People will be kind and nice to you, as long as you fulfil their needs, do what they want, agree with their views.

My entire life, and everyone in it, has shown I cannot trust.

My awareness of how untrustworthy people are, is not about what is ‘wrong’ with me.

It’s about what happened to me.

‘Who’ happened to me.

How many people happened to me, that showed me trust, is so unwise.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “Why would I trust anyone?

  1. I could have written this. My brother was 17 months younger than me. He tried to stand up to *them* and was knocked across the room. We weren’t allowed to cry. He was forced to watch them hurt me with silent tears streaming down his face. Once my mother and step father were through with me while in their drunken stupor stumbled back into their room ….laughing. I would run into my brother’s room and we would plan our escape….only we were little kids and the biggest thing on my mind then was our lunch money the next day. I wanted to appear normal.

    He is gone now. He died 6 months ago. I agree …..who do you trust? You are given a 6th sense to see beyond the person and the masks. As my brother told me as an adult, “You know Shannon, it’s a dog eat dog world.” Oh yea it sure is.

    • I am so sorry Shannon, no child should ever endure abuse and it breaks my heart to know what you and your brother endured. No child should ever have to be planning their escape. I am thankful you at least had each other, I’m thankful you weren’t completely alone as children.

      I am also so deeply sorry for the loss of your brother, I can empathise with how much you must be grieving and missing him (((((hugs))))) ❤ ❤

      I think you are right, that when we grow up in highly abusive homes, we do develop a greater capacity for discernment and ability to see past that mask most like to wear, to the real person, the real motivation for people's behaviours. Their needs and their agenda.

      It is a discernment capacity that many will not understand and of course if you question their agenda and motivation, they will nearly always dismiss this.

      It is indeed, a dog eat dog world. Sadly.