I am so thankful for Daniela researching and writing about the deep consequences of emotional trauma.
I will listen to this repeatedly and I know one thing that stood out….
“When we shame ourselves into change, we only create more shame” – Daniela F Sieff
I am so understanding this and how the constant shame of not being ‘good enough’ and continually hearing these messages from society and even in counselling, I just feel more and more shame.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
Dr Daniela F. Sieff, writer and researcher; Alison Critchley, Chief Executive of RSA Academies
We are becoming increasingly aware of how widespread trauma is, and of the huge costs it imposes not only on individuals and their immediate communities, but also on society more generally.
But what exactly do we mean by the word ‘trauma’?
I relate to this quote and completely understand it.
It is where I am at.
I can’t allow myself to feel what I need to feel…. because it takes me to very dark places.
I can’t medicate it away, because I can barely function.
These two blow my mind…
1) Psychology Today – are still talking about ‘gay conversation therapy’, because they still wish to deem being gay as poor mental health…
2) Good Therapy.org……. are promoting BDSM and 50 Shades of Grey, as healthy.
So Good Therapy.org want you to believe that pain, humiliation, degradation and inflicting and receiving this, can be healthy…. (which it is not and I will not be convinced that it is and the writer of that post is only a trainee only providing therapy under supervision, so it is simply her inexperienced ‘opinion’ and she is not a trauma expert, or a psychiatrist etc).
But, Psychology Today want you to believe being gay is poor mental health…. even if you are a kind, caring, moral, empathic person in a respectful relationship…
I am starting to see very clearly just how many people within the mental health field, are screwed up. And worse, they promote themselves and their views, as healthy.
It amazes me how many people go along with what is so clearly obvious to me – is not at all godly and not what the Bible tells us and nothing like what Jesus modelled.
Many of these famous evangelists, have no clue of God’s nature, love or what He wants for us.
And if these so called Christians, can get this – this wrong, what else do they have wrong?
Believe me, this completely wrong interpretation of prosperity…. won’t be the only twisted versions of Bible verses…
This is a very apt book title…
I’ve never had healthy relationships. I’ve never been drawn to healthy people. All my life, what other people want from me, has been what I have been prepared to give, at my own expense.
And partly this is due to my own self harming issues, and I see that. It’s how it’s always been since childhood. My mother and I had a very unhealthy relationship. She abused me continually and I tolerated it and allowed her to do it.
This behaviour continued into adulthood. My relationships – whether they be friendships, partner, whatever, are always co-dependent with unhealthy, disordered, dysfunctional people. My own unhealthy issues being a need to be hurt. A need to be used, abused and hurt myself over and over, continuing the abuse my ‘mother’, step father, the paedophile and the psychopath in my adolescence, started.
They destroyed my life.
I am spending more and more time day dreaming about a life I should have. I’m happy there in that place. I’m loved and treated with respect and cared for. I can trust people there. I can love people with no fear of them hurting me, or manipulating me, or telling me I am not good enough.
It’s the only way I can cope now. And I get that other people, even my counsellor, can’t and won’t understand. I’ve given up expecting anyone to understand.
People who have love, have people in their life who love them, grew up in a ‘good enough’ childhood, cannot comprehend what it is like to not have this, and be completely alone in terms of people physically in your life. No-one can understand or comprehend how this feels, unless they are endured it. For decades.