Wow, invited for a week at no cost, to stay at the Healing For Life centre, as support for my healing.

Liz Mullinar AM – founder CEO of Healing for Life Centre, has invited me as an honoured guest, at no charge, to stay for a week at her residential healing centre!

This is to support me, because she sees I have provided so much support for others.

Wow!

What an incredibly kind offer! And I am deeply thankful!

Liz has an impressive list of achievements and I feel very shocked, that she would consider ‘me’ – to be someone worthy of being an honoured guest.

Liz is a survivor of childhood trauma and child abuse. She originally founded ASCA followed by the Heal For Life Foundation (Mayumarri) in 1999, utilising her innate knowledge as a survivor of child abuse to formulate a programme to empower others to heal themselves from child abuse. Liz has authored two books “Breaking The Silence” and “The Liz Mullinar Story” published by Hodder Headline to encourage anyone who has suffered from childhood trauma or abuse to heal. She was awarded an order of Australia in 1997, A Centenary Medal in 2000 and honoured on “This is Your life” in 2001. She was awarded the first Humanitarian Award in 2003 and in 2009 she was named NSW Volunteer of the Year. In 2010 Liz was a NSW finalist for the Australian of the Year – Local Hero. Liz has 2 sons, 3 step-daughters and six grandchildren.

Instead of focussing on what I don’t have, I will try to focus on what I do have.

I don’t have a lot of things I need and I do deserve. A decent family of origin, a trustworthy decent husband, a counsellor, support.

What I do have, is my children and Jesus. And I love them. And I know they love me.

I have a huge amount of grieving that I am still doing and the list got longer. And that is all normal and needed for someone who has lived my life.

I also have my children’s future, their growth, their happiness, their lives to help build and much love to give them.

I have Jesus and although I crave a human adult to love me and I know I don’t have that and probably never will, I do have Jesus’ love and I have to pray for Him to be all I need.

I’m going to make a sign, and put it by my bed. Like an affirmation I can read every morning – of my love for my children and Jesus and their love for me.

I will make it enough. And have gratitude for this.

Received an email from Liz Mullinar AM

Liz Mullinar AM – is a very well known advocate for child abuse survivors, here in Australia.

Liz is the Founder/CEO of Heal For Life Foundation. In 2000 she was awarded the inaugural Australian Humanitarian of the Year Award. In 2009 she was honoured with an Achievement Award on Australia Day, as well as being named as NSW Volunteer of the Year. She was a finalist for Australian of the Year.

Liz is herself a child abuse survivor, a TED speaker and has many other achievements and is also a Christian.

I need to keep working on my own healing, somehow.

I need to keep working on my own therapy, somehow.

I know I have to get my head around finding another counsellor and I see how it could be a really positive and needed move, but I just can’t face it at the moment.

I am isolating myself now, and staying away from other people’s issues for a while, but when I can, continue working on myself and my healing.

I isolate completely when I am overwhelmed. I do realise, I will survive whatever I deal with, because I have survived worse already.

So, reading through this book, to see if I can gain something from an expert in trauma, PTSD. Hoping it may help me, give me something to use to improve my life, and my children’s lives.

Alone.

I am aware…the only reason I have needed to spend more and more time alone over the last 6 months, and try to enjoy that and prefer that, is because I have been/am surrounded by the wrong people.

I’ve always been alone.

I’ve always been around unhealthy people, who have agenda’s and their own interests at heart. I’ve never had anyone who genuinely has my interests and wellbeing at heart.

Not dealing with any issues that I don’t have to deal with.

I’ve shut down my community page, to avoid dealing daily with people’s negative issues …. the complaining, nastiness, selfishness and sense of entitlement to do so. When I am low…. every time on log on, I have anxiety that I know someone will have got nasty, twisted what I have written, made accusations and assumptions, not caring that their words – hurt. Every day, I deal with someone’s need to vent their issues, onto me.

I don’t want to bother my online friends, as I know they have their own struggles and it isn’t fair to dump mine on them. Plus, I do have trust issues with people I only know over the internet. And that is no reflection of any of them at all, it is trust issues I have that are mine to deal with.

My counselling has ended and that was my only support I thought I had.

I’m running on a completely empty tank. You can’t give to others, when running on an empty tank.

I am completely alone, I have no support from anyone physically in my life. No hope. No energy. No way to make anything better. Feel abandoned, alone and severely depressed.

A Professor Ph.D psychologist, specialising in PTSD/Trauma, shared a post, as a main feature.

Sheela Raja – PhD Clinical Psychologist | Professor | Media Contributor. National speaker & author in PTSD, health & wellness. Science, policy & empathy to end abuse & violence. #UniteBlue

Shared my blog post I wrote recently, as a main feature today.

It was one about putting the blame for abuse, with abusers, and stop shaming/blaming victims of abuse.

My post was a main feature her online website/news site @ http://paper.li/sheelaraja/1334775859

I do realise, there are many who do support my views and what I believe and what I write. Including professionals, highly trained, highly educated, specialising in trauma/PTSD.

I should hold onto that, as a positive.

This is Sheela’s Website and details http://www.sheelaraja.com/

Sheela Raja, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and author of Overcoming Trauma and PTSD. She is an Assistant Professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago where she teaches Health Communication and Behavioral Medicine. Dr. Raja received her PhD from the University of Illinois at Chicago and completed internship and post-doctoral training at the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Boston, MA.  She is a highly sought after speaker and has given invited talks at federal, national, and community agencies on the topic of post-traumatic stress.

Withdrawing completely.

I know I completely overwhelmed. All my PTSD symptoms are increasing. Nightmares, anxiety, fear, withdrawing.

The issues in my marriage, I can’t cope with. My counselling is ended and I can’t cope with it.

I don’t want to be alive and I must for my children.

I’m withdrawing from everything, shutting down my community page, as I can’t deal with the daily issues I have to deal with. Withdrawing from everything.

I know I am now completely overwhelmed, completely numb.