I don’t have a lot of things I need and I do deserve. A decent family of origin, a trustworthy decent husband, a counsellor, support.
What I do have, is my children and Jesus. And I love them. And I know they love me.
I have a huge amount of grieving that I am still doing and the list got longer. And that is all normal and needed for someone who has lived my life.
I also have my children’s future, their growth, their happiness, their lives to help build and much love to give them.
I have Jesus and although I crave a human adult to love me and I know I don’t have that and probably never will, I do have Jesus’ love and I have to pray for Him to be all I need.
I’m going to make a sign, and put it by my bed. Like an affirmation I can read every morning – of my love for my children and Jesus and their love for me.
I will make it enough. And have gratitude for this.
Whilst also allowing this painful grieving process I know I am in and will continue all my life.
I will make all the little moments with my children and being as good a mum as I can be, and the times I spend with Jesus….enough.
And try to be content with what I do have, and not focussed on all I don’t.