Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

When really low…. getting two loads of washing done and on the line, is an achievement.


I am a great believer in just doing what you can do and not expect more of yourself, because it’s self harming to expect more than is capable. I see so many self harming issues ~ us trauma survivors have.

I believe this. I let others know this. I want others to believe this, so they suffer less.

Yet I struggle with it too. Struggle with the sense of being a failure and shame. So, I get it when others feel this way. I also see how shame affects us too.

Life is really fucking hard when you have suffered severe prolonged trauma, have PTSD, depression, grieving and have all the many really fucking horrendous consequences and life impacting issues created by it. And I see there is anger in this sentence and that’s okay too, anger is allowed, as long as expressed appropriately. Anger is within grieving.

Self compassion is something I know we all need, and I struggle with. After a lifetime of having people put me down, belittle and abuse me, and then internalising that and continuing it to myself….. I know those patterns of behaviour, those deeply rooted trauma induced behaviours, don’t change quickly.

So, I will force myself to be okay with doing the ‘little’ I have done today.

I will re-phrase that…. I ‘will’ be okay with what I have managed to do today.

I got my children to school – they were dressed, had their breakfast, got them to school on time – as I always do. I did some stuff in the gardens, I did some washing.

And I ‘will’ be okay with that.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “When really low…. getting two loads of washing done and on the line, is an achievement.

  1. I say this stuff to myself all the time! (yes there is washing in the machine, yay me! )

  2. This hit home and with me so much, I teared up. I am in the same boat and trying so hard to be proud of the small things I manage. Your words will help me.x