Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I don’t intend sharing my journey/past etc, with anyone new in my life. Ever.

9 Comments

I have learned the hard way to never share my past, my diagnosis, or anything related to it…. with anyone from now on.

Nothing good comes from sharing about it with anyone physically in my life. Not in my experience.

My newer friendships I am developing, I will not share anything with them. The most I plan to say, is I have anxiety and that will be it.

I’ve lost so many people from my life due to being open and honest and it also makes me vulnerable to it being used as a way to put me down etc, when something happens. It’s the perfect excuse, as I even found out in counselling, for people to not take responsibility, to blame, project etc.

I believe in being honest and open, but sadly it’s the way other people react and respond, that is the issue.

So, I intend having that part of my life kept completely separate from anyone else.

I’ve learned my lesson.

The really painful way.

sad girl

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

9 thoughts on “I don’t intend sharing my journey/past etc, with anyone new in my life. Ever.

    • I cried reading this. I also was hoping i haven’t done anything wrong to make you think I’m untrustworthy. But that’s probably my issue. I’m also not telling anyone about me either. Especially in the children’s case. I don’t want it used against me if something happens between my husband and I. X

      • It isn’t anything anyone online has done. It is all the ‘in person’ relationships/friendships I thought I had, that have ended – due to me being honest and open.

        I can’t handle anymore hurt caused from people’s reactions.

        I accept that to have friendships, I have to be what other people expect, or I won’t have anyone in my life.

        I either stay completely alone – or do what others expect and only speak about things other people want to deal with.

        I understand you being concerned about what could happen if anything happened in your marriage. I’ve have those same concerns too.

        Sucks. But I don’t see any other way.

      • That’s why i don’t and haven’t made any new friends in years. Once we left Australia i realised how fake people were. We had just spent 3 yrs with so called friends who Don’t even like our photos or check on the boys. I ask about there kids. Nobody cares about anybody but themselves. I’m so over everything right now. All i ever get is shit on. I’m so sad for us. We deserve better. I’m glad it wasn’t anything to do with me doing anything wrong. I would be devestated at losing your friendship as i do care about you and how you doing. I cried for ages when i read it. Well the little girl did. Thought she lost a friend. X have a good day.

  1. Wow. I’m sorry to hear this but I understand. I went through the same thing years ago. today I have few friends. . .but they are good friends. One is worth a thousand posers. Hang tough. Things will get better.

    HH

  2. I hope you change your mind and keep trying. There really are people out there who understand.

    • I know there will be people out there, who may understand. But I clearly have ongoing issues with finding such people, and instead veering towards people who will hurt me.

      I know I have issues with co-dependent, unhealthy relationships and I don’t trust myself anymore to find people who won’t hurt me and project their agenda’s onto me.

      I cannot face anymore of the hurt this causes.

      😦

      • 😦 Are you open to trying EMDR in the future? Or have you already? I found it to be extremely helpful surrounding trauma bonding issues. For several years most of the people I became close with were hurtful/harmful/exploitive (one being full blown trauma repetition). In doing EMDR, I was able to process (over much time) the survival response of trauma bonding and restore healthy boundaries, see and trust myself about red flags, etc. I know that our histories are very different so I in no way want to say, “it worked for me, it’ll work for you!” I just thought I’d see if you had ever done it or would be open to on the chance that it could help in some way. Much love and support!