Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I realise my journey may be lifelong. And yet society shames victims, for this.


Victim shaming occurs in so many covert ways, I see so clearly.

The word ‘victim’ itself, is considered ‘shameful’ in society, with even many victims of abuse seeing it as a shameful word and demanding they not be seen as a victim. Choosing other labels like survivor, thriver, healing warrior.

I do consider myself a survivor, because I have survived everything so far. I’m not dead.

But, I am a victim of much abuse, caused by many abusers.

And I refuse to be shamed by that. It wasn’t my responsibility, it is due to those who made choices to abuse me. Their choices, their actions, their responsibility.

Victims of abuse, are given the message by society, that healing ‘fast’ is a sign of strength. If you heal quickly and no longer ‘act like a victim’ – you are deemed stronger. And if you don’t, well you are acting like a victim, and/or not as strong.

Which is simply victim shaming and even many mental health professionals can’t see this.

They think it is ’empowering’ to give ‘better labels’ and then by default, demand that victim keep up with that expectation of being the strong healing warrior they are told to be.

I refuse to condone and encourage this covert victim shaming.

I am not strong all the time. And I need to be okay with that.

I’ve been through hell, and to expect me to be strong every day, is too great burden for me to carry.

I cannot maintain it, and I refuse to allow society and others to shame me further for this.

It is okay if I am not coping at times.

And anyone who chooses to ‘shame’ me for this, well the shame is theirs, because their empathy level is not anywhere near developed enough, to be helping someone who has suffered considerable abuse and has severe consequences of that abuse to deal with every day.

Society shames victims of abuse all the time, and this leads to more suicides.

Mental health professionals – shame victims of abuse – and are deluded to think this is helping.

If my healing journey is a lifetime one, who is able to judge or shame me for it?


Yet their ego’s will believe they can.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “I realise my journey may be lifelong. And yet society shames victims, for this.

  1. So true! The better you look or act the better the therapist looks for themselves and others! Forget the survivor that comes for help through horrid abuse…..”hurry up and get well….you can trust me;” I have found those I’ve encountered are NOT trustworthy and just want acclimation’s of how well *they* are doing in so called *helping me!*

    I refuse to open up again to another therapist and lay my life out on the table only to be discarded once again as their ego dictates.

  2. It’s horrible isn’t it. I had this last week with my mental health nurse. Totaly dismissed what i have to say. Doesn’t believe me when i say i am suicidal every day. Didn’t care what i was trying to tell her. I trusted enough to even try to begin to tell her and you know how hard that is. Won’t do thatagain. Every body has dismissed me latelyand all i been trying todo isget help. But every day i know i have to do it. But it is frickn hard and not many people know what we go through.
    Society is very shaming and it’s sad because society is our family and friends. If we have any left after trying to make a difference. There’s too many people against us. 😦