I have a lifetime repeating pattern of being in unhealthy relationships, co-dependent relationships with disordered, narcissistic, unhealthy people.
I know why, I know all the psychology about it and how it is all due to the severe abuse within the first 20 years of my life.
I know I have emotional self harming issues and I accept that. I accept I have this need within me, to harm myself, by being around harmful people.
And it is up to me, now I do know the extent of this, to deal with unhealthy relationships.
And I have – I very recently ended one ……. and I am dealing with another as best I can, whilst keeping my children’s interests as a priority and being careful to not worsen my situation, with rash decisions.
It is emotionally very painful to deal with all this.
The past abuse and abusers, still deeply affect my life, and I am not okay with that.
But, it is something I have to accept and deal with as best I can.