Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

When you feel no joy, you have to keep trying.


I’m aware I am very depressed and struggling, as I don’t even have any joy from e.g. my gardens at the moment. And I did. I was really getting into it. Now I’m just numb about it.

I’m aware I am on autopilot most of the time. I know this is mild dissociation, overwhelmed due to recent issues, which have added to all I have to deal with. It feels beyond reasonable to endure and my life long friend ‘dissociation’ always helps out, so I don’t have to feel intense emotions and fear continually. I see the positives of mild dissociation, rather than all the negatives.

Who wants to feel intense emotions 24/7? I don’t.

But, I must have a bit of fight in me, because in the last few weeks, I am still out every day watering. I have planted a new area in my front yard, which will be lovely as it matures. Plus, I’ve prettied up my little front deck, with some old chairs, some pots and flowers etc. It’s looks nice.

My son is delighted his tomato plants are now all flowering and growing so well and that’s good.









Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “When you feel no joy, you have to keep trying.

  1. It looks so beautiful. You really are talented at putting it all together.

  2. Awesome! It looks so fun. Hope it brings you much enjoyment.