Today is too hard already.
My children are now at school and I am home alone, so going to try to sleep all day until I have to pick my children back up.
Sleeping and even facing having bad dreams, is a less horrible alternative to the emotions and thoughts I will have all day. I can tell I won’t be able to block them out. So sleeping will avoid having to feel them.
It is a truly dire situation, where I prefer nightmares, to the reality of my life while awake.
But, that is where I am at.