Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Tuesdays, are now a constant reminder for sadness and abandonment depression.

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Tuesdays were counselling day. Were. I had appointments booked every Tuesday, for the rest of this year.

I’ve ended counselling, for reasons already blogged about. But I know the bond I had – unhealthy or not – it was there for me and I had feelings and emotions regarding my counsellor. Now I am aware I have intense emotions of abandonment depression, fear, betrayal due to the issues that went on.

Tuesdays are tough, really tough.

They once represented speaking with the person I believed I could trust, the person I believed was my only support. Someone who would be there for me, about everything from my past. And would be there if things got really bad with my husband. The person I could tell my fears and emotions to. Someone who was supposed to have my best interests at heart and I really wanted to believe this.

Tuesdays were a good day for me. A day I looked forward to.

Now Tuesdays represent the opposite.

Intense emotions demanding to be felt. I don’t want to feel them.

Another relationship to grieve. And as with everything, I feel my emotions to a deep and intense level.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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