Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Poem ~ Red Flags & Fear

Poem – Red Flags & Fear

~ By Lilly Hope Lucario

red flags

A life of pain

Learned so very young

Watch, discern and fear

Their many red flags


Learned from masters

Of lies, harm, manipulation

They taught me deeply

Of worst in humanity


Testing continual

My subconscious mind

I will find your lies

And your red flags

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Blue Bucket of of Gold – Sufjan Stevens

Love this song, and the lyrics. I ‘get’ these lyrics.

The reference to ‘red flags’ in particular – resonates. My life is about fear of red flags.


My blue bucket of gold
Friend, why don’t you love me?
Once the myth has been told
The lens deforms it as lightning
Raise your right hand
Tell me you want me in your life
Or raise your red flag
Just when I want you in my life Continue reading

Coffee catch up with a new friend postponed, so forced myself to go out anyway.

A new school mum friend had kindly asked me if I wanted to go for coffee today, which was nice, but she needed to postpone due to being really tired after working extra hours into the night.

So, I forced myself to go out and not stay home all day. My depression is pretty bad and I am struggling, but on the days I can do stuff, I do.

Went to the shops and bought some education reading books for my 6 year old. He is very bright and very advanced for his age academically and I want to encourage his passion and love of for learning. Bought some craft stuff as well ready for the upcoming school holidays.

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Found a new music artist – Sufjan Stevens – Contemporary Christian music.

Found this artist via Relevant Magazine, and I love him already.

He has a background of child abuse, with mentally ill parents, is a Christian and writes about his life and faith, in a way I relate to, that is far more ‘real’ to me, than so much worship music – which I do not relate to – because I am not your average church person.

I am glad to see more real music, created for Christians to enjoy.



His music is beautiful. Deep, emotional, eerily haunting.

My type of music.


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