Reading through ‘A Road Less Travelled’ – by Dr M. Scott Peck, the highly acclaimed psychiatrist, author.
Went straight to the section on love, and the first thing I read in the book, is his attitude and approach to counselling people.
I cried. Floods of tears and pain.
Because his empathy and understanding of how to counsel those abused in childhood, is incredible, and exactly what I need. He talks honestly about how trust and love is needed within a counselling relationship – something many counsellors would say is wrong.
But, how can a severely abused complex trauma survivor, truly open up and trust someone they know doesn’t love them? I know I can’t.
I ‘have’ to know the person genuinely cares about me and loves me, and has my best interests at heart.
He talks about one client, who quit therapy many times, and he knew he needed to persuade her to come back, through phone calls and emails. He knew she needed that reassurance that he really did care.
He understands fear and the massive impact it has on a persons life. And how that affects every relationship, including a therapeutic one.
He understands the deep needs of trust and commitment needed to be shown.
He understands the need for non judgment, not pushing any agenda’s and how the ‘client’s’ needs, are paramount and how the therapist must adapt, and suffer too with the client.
He understands that all the ‘rules’ of psychotherapy, actually need to be broken and it be ‘unconventional’ and all his successful cases, involved this. With the ‘client’s’ needs at the forefront.
He understands the impact of being raised and abused by narcissistic/sociopathic parents and the severe damage it causes and everything the child did not have, and needs as an adult, within the therapeutic relationship, mostly not offered by most counsellors.
And this is what I need.
It is so painful to know what I need, and know I don’t have it.
I’ve never had what I need, all my life.
It hurts, so much.